Page 33 of Hockey 101

Don’t forget the mantle, Swanny says as he turns to Bergy. Camels are mean, though. A camel killed a zookeeper at our local zoo. What do you think, Sinc?

A great white shark would annihilate both the sea lion and the camel. In fact, they’re already the natural predators of sea lions, I point out as I stretch to reach a cobweb.

Bergy grunts. Don’t let Sinc get started on sharks again. Why are you doing all this cleaning?

Andy’s coming over tonight, I explain, then turn on the vacuum so I don’t have to hear Bergy and Swanny tease me about my big crush.

Unfortunately, instead of clearing out, they wait until I’m done.

So, is this a date? Finally? Swanny asks.

Well… I hedge for the second time today. We’re going to hang out and watch hockey.

He nods. So, not a date.

I’m trying to convince her that hockey players are good guys. So, you guys can do your part by not being assholes tonight. Maybe that’s not the whole truth, but at least they won’t spend the whole night announcing to Andy how much I like her.

Bergy scratches his chin. Why would anyone not like hockey players? We’re great athletes, team players, and humble.

Good-looking, too, adds Ethan as he passes through. So much for humble.

Usually it’s the other way around. You know, with hockey players having to fend off all the babes, Bergy says. That’s ironic, since he’s constantly complaining that he doesn’t have a girlfriend.

Swanny laughs. Sinc does have a lot of admirers. So, why is he so obsessed with the one woman who’s not interested?

I’m not obsessed, and Andy likes me. I wind up the vacuum cord. I opt to stash it in the hall closet so I won’t have to talk to Lloyd again. He makes me feel like a pushover.

No, seriously, Bergy says. Remember the party last weekend? There was that chick, Becky, after you. She was a dime. I would never pass that up, but you did. Why?

I want a relationship with someone honest.

It’s more than honesty, though—it’s integrity. And Andy has it in spades. Most people would have quit after getting 126 insulting comments on a story they wrote. But Andy persevered, and now the sports section is much improved. A woman like that would never quit on you.

What hurt me most about my breakup with Cori was that she’d been unhappy for a long time, but never said a word. How can I fix things I don’t even know about?

Andy is so honest that she told me exactly why she wouldn’t go out with me. At least I knew exactly where I stood with her then. Now, things are different—she likes me, but does she like me in a boyfriend way?

I don’t see why honesty is your number one quality. What about hot? Bergy asks. Hot and honest would be good, right?

Sinc’s too much of a gentleman to mention Andy’s other good qualities, Swanny says with a rude snort. While he’s right, I still have an urge to rearrange some of his teeth.

When the time is right, I’ll ask her out again, I say, with more confidence than I feel.

ANDY ARRIVES RIGHT on time. I yank the door open and she’s wrapped up in a fuzzy sweater and scarf. When she smiles at me, I have to stifle an urge to wrap my arms around her and feel how soft she is.

Hi, Jack. She holds out a round, red metal tin. I brought you some cookies.

Oh, wow. Thanks. I pry open the lid to find crinkly chocolate cookies. I pop one in my mouth and it’s warm and sweet.

They’re delicious. I spew out crumbs as I speak, but luckily Andy doesn’t seem to notice. Smooth, Sinc.

It’s a thank-you gift for doing this. I baked them at Dawn’s place. She hangs her scarf and sweater on the hooks by the door like she’s been here a million times.

Wow, you made them just for me? They taste even better now.

She ignores my question and looks around. Can I get a house tour?

Sure thing. I guide her down the hall.

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