Page 93 of Hockey 101

Joey leers at me in my team jersey. Oh, did you need directions to the Mustangs dressing room? Your boyfriend want a quickie before the game? He points. It’s thattaway. The other guys all snicker at my expense.

Wait, why am I worried about hurting the feelings of the guy who stranded me the moment I became the sports editor? Who offends womankind every time he opens his mouth? Who is trying to bring back really awful seventies facial hair?

I straighten my spine. When I speak, my voice is strong and clear. Actually, Joey, I’m here to tell you that I’m back as the sports editor. Thanks for keeping my seat warm, but your hack reporting is no longer required.

He slides off the table and stares at me in shock. What are you talking about? You don’t have the authority to get rid of me.

I nod agreeably. You’re right. But I do have a message for you from the new editor-in-chief. I pick up my phone to read out Jaz’s script. Joey, thanks so much for filling in as sports editor. As you know, you were in the role on a trial basis, and we’ve received a lot of complaints about the sports section under your management. So, we’ve decided to bring back Andy Robson, effective immediately.

Joey sputters. There’s no fucking way that Bryce Myrtle wrote that. He can’t stand you.

I said the new EIC. Jaz Nelson. Bryce is gone too.

Now that Joey is satisfyingly slack-jawed, I beam at him. The Messenger wasn’t going to work out for you anyway, since I know you hate working ‘under women.’ We make up half the population though, so you might want to reconsider your attitude. I turn and motion towards Jacob, who is wearing a rare smile. Jacob will cover tonight’s game, so you’re free to go now.

Jacob pipes up. Yeah. The guy who ‘writes like a fucking preschooler’ will be taking over for you.

You can both fuck off. I didn’t drive all the way to Buttfuck, Wisconsin just to do one game, Joey whines. His new buddies scowl at the unflattering description of their hometown. Joey’s making enemies everywhere he goes.

Looks like you did. Buh-bye. I give a little hand wave.

I think our work here is done, I say to Jacob as we walk away.

Didn’t think you had it in you, Robson, he replies.

Fear my mean side, I reply merrily. That was fun.

You’re as mean as a marshmallow, he scoffs. Actually, I take it back. You’re just like Sinc. It takes a lot to set you off, but once someone does—look out.

Who did Jack brutalize? I pull out my phone to figure out where Emily is.

Jacob snorts. I’ll let him tell you about it. But here’s a hint: first letter O, second letter D.

Oh, I like the sound of that. That O.D. is a huge jerk.

We round the corner and run right into Emily, who is carrying a takeout box bulging with drinks and fries. Jacob and I discuss the logistics of tonight’s game coverage. It’s going to be a challenge for me since I don’t have my laptop, but I do have a two-hour ride home with Emily driving. Everything will work out.

You look pretty pleased with yourself, Emily observes as we make our way down to our seats.

The good guys are winning, I reply.

No, Emily wails. It’s bad luck to say that until the game.

We munch on fries and watch the warm-ups. It’s going to be a different experience, watching my first road game. Luckily, it’s a tournament game where neither team is actually the home team, and my Mustangs jersey doesn’t attract any negative attention.

As the players line up for the puck drop, I nudge Emily. Look, Jack is in the starting line-up. That means he’s in the top defence pairing.

Oh, that’s awesome news. Then she does a double-take. You know so much more about hockey now. It’s pretty amazing.

That’s true. I don’t even have to consult my hockey notebook anymore, I just know these things.

But it wouldn’t take an expert to tell that Jack is one of the best players on the ice tonight. He’s flying around the ice and making beautiful passes and plays. Unfortunately, the Hunter College players notice him too, and he’s taking more hits and slashes than any other Mustang player. I wince each time.

Emily laughs at my worries. Jack’s tough. And don’t forget all the equipment he has on.

But she doesn’t have to see the multicoloured bruises that dot his body after the games. Luckily, the thought of Jack undressed transports my mind to a happier and sweatier place.

The game is tight. Hunter scores first, then Monarch ties things up ten minutes later. The second period is a repeat of the first: Hunter scores and Monarch replies once again.

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