Page 98 of Hockey 101

I wriggle out from under his arm so I can sneak out to pee. Jack doesn’t stir. Phew. I complete my escape, stealing a T-shirt in case I run into his roommates. I return and sneak back into bed.

I can’t get back to sleep, even though it’s insanely early. I’m too full of happy energy. I want Jack to wake up—I still have so much to tell him. And we haven’t even discussed how well he played last night. Of course, there are all the sentimental things I want to share with him. I’m going to be a better girlfriend by sharing my feelings instead of repressing them, and I can’t help but want to start doing that right this minute.

Should I tell him how much I really missed him and that…I might be in love with him? Because once I stopped worrying about the future and started living in the now, I appreciated how happy we are. The whole time we were apart, life felt muted and colourless. Sure, I was managing okay. But I missed the full spectrum of sunshine that Jack brings to each day. Now I can see that what we have is big. Something like L-O-V-E.

Jack rolls over and for one exciting moment, I think he’s awake too. But no, he’s still sleeping—handsome-side-up now. Does the guy not even snore? I’m pretty sure that I snore and drool while I sleep.

Maybe I’ll wait until the next time he feels romantic, and I can echo his words of love back to him. That would be easier. But what if he doesn’t want to talk about love since I was so cold the first time? Maybe it’s all too soon, we just got back together.

But I promised to be all in. I stare up at the ceiling and practise declaring my feelings—mouthing the words silently. It’s surprisingly difficult for someone who’s been talking since she was ten months old. I workshop it.

Subtle: You know what you said? Well, me too. Ugh, terrible. He’ll think I’m talking about a sandwich order.

Maybe more poetic: Jack, you are the love of my life. Barf. That’s too sappy.

Straightforward-style: I love you, Jack. Much better. Straightforward could be my middle name.

And it’s easier to say each time. I try with a different emphasis. I love you, Jack. I love you, Jack. I love you, Jack, I mime.

I love you, too.

My entire body freezes in shock. I’m way too young for the heart attack I’m apparently having. I slowly turn my head to see Jack is wide awake and grinning.

The words tumble out of me. How? I mean, what? I didn’t say anything out loud. And you were asleep!

Guess not. I’ve been watching you for ages. You made all these weird expressions. It looked like you were practising for a speech or something. But you repeated the words enough times that I could read your lips.

He chuckles, and I smack his arm.

I’ve changed my mind. I hate you. I can’t believe you’re laughing at me.

Jack rolls to his side and pulls me into his chest. You don’t hate me, you love me, he says in a sing-song voice.

Can we pretend I didn’t say it? Then I can say it at a more appropriate time, and it can really mean something.

Nope. Can’t take it back. But you can say it as much as you like from now on. Out loud, even. He starts laughing again.

I growl and give up. At least the truth is out there and I don’t have to stress anymore. Not every romantic moment can be perfect.

I change the subject. Your bed is so comfortable. Why haven’t we been sleeping here all along?

Jack chuckles. That was your choice. I can sleep anywhere. And he does look well-rested, considering what time we ended up falling asleep last night—actually, this morning.

Why are you wearing clothes now? he grumbles as he tries to tug off my stolen T-shirt.

I roll away. I’m hungry. Is there food here, or should we go out?

It’s a house full of hungry hockey players, of course there’s food. How about I make you breakfast in bed? Then we can have sex afterwards. His tone is syrupy sweet.

I think we had all the sex last night. There can be no sex left on the planet. And before he can pull me back into bed, I jump up and start looking for my clothes. Unfortunately, I do have a lot of work to do today. While Jacob is back, I need to assemble the rest of my team, meet with C.J., update Jaz, and on top of all that, do some coursework. Ugh. My to-do list is already stressing me out.

Did you want to take a shower? Maybe together? Jack suggests.

Wow, that does sound like a good idea. My to-do list disappears in a puff of desire. Half an hour later, clean and refreshed, we go down to the kitchen together.

Swanny, Bergy, and Ethan are already in the dining room eating breakfast. They greet me with matching smirks. Not the ideal start to my Sunday.

Morning, boys. I raise a curious eyebrow.

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