Page 50 of Patio Lanterns

But it wasn’t her sisters.

The text was from BRE71.

Up popped a photo on the screen. And there was Mutt with a dumb smile on his face a mile wide, his smooth, once-clean fur now matted, filthy, and caked in mud.

Oh God, please let that only be mud.

17

Rick

Rick held on tight to Mutt’s collar while keeping him at arm’s length. The revolting stench burned his eyes and made him want to retch. At least sitting on the front step, he could keep Mutt downwind while breathing through his mouth.

He was gutted that his romantic evening with Robin had gone south. He’d been showered, clean-shaven and dressed in his good navy blazer for a solid twenty minutes before getting her text. The sudden change in plans forced him to not only cancel their reservations at the inn, but the surprise he’d booked after dinner as well. Not that any of this was Robin’s fault. Nor was it really even Mutt’s fault, for that matter. These things happened. It was just real fucking awful timing.

Minutes after she’d responded to his all-points bulletin, Robin came rushing over the hill, skipping his driveway to cut across the lawn. Her lovely pink dress billowed behind her as she rushed toward them in full stride. Her hair was styled in a pretty new way. She had makeup on. His heart sank seeing that she’d gotten all dressed up for their date too.

“Oh my God, where have you been?” she scolded Mutt, swinging his empty leash.

“He couldn’t have been far,” Rick said. “I heated up some bacon, called him, and he came charging out of the bush.”

She laughed as she approached them. “Well, we know the fastest way to the mooch’s heart is definitely through his stomach.”

Rick abruptly put up his hand, preventing her from getting any closer. “Uh, I’d stay back if I were you.”

“Stay back? But… oh fff—fuck!” She clapped her hand over her nose and mouth as she jumped back. “Mutt! What the fuck? I just gave you a bath!”

“If I had to guess, I’d say this new cologne is eau de dead fish.”

She dry heaved. “Goddammit, Mutt! You reek like a rotting chum bucket!”

“I can’t bring him inside smelling like this,” Rick said, now deeply regretting that he hadn’t thought to remove his blazer. “As it is, I’m probably going to have to burn these clothes.”

“I am so sorry, Rick. You look so handsome,” she said gloomily. “I can’t tell you how much I was looking forward to tonight.”

“We’ll do it some other night. Right now, we have to figure out what to do with Ol’ Fish Lips here.”

“He’s my problem. I’ll drag him back to the Blue Canoe with me and give him a good hosing down.”

“Or you can go back to change, grab his grooming supplies and bring them over here. We can wash Mutt out back.”

She smiled. “Thanks, but I couldn’t ask you to do that. You’ve already been a huge help just by finding him.”

There was no way he was going to let Robin face the worst of this putrid ordeal alone. He was already heavily invested in the smelly situation, but most importantly, didn’t want to totally give up on their date night. Nothing was better than time with Robin, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to get more of it—even rolling up his sleeves to give Mutt a bath.

“I’m putting it out there purely for selfish reasons,” he told her. “We may have had to forfeit our dinner plans, but I say we shouldn’t let a little thing like decomposing lake trout spoil what’s left of a beautiful evening.”

* * *

After Robin left, Rick led Mutt around to the backyard, fastening his leash securely around the leg of a chair. Sheepishly, Mutt lowered his head to the ground, his eyes following Rick as he left him behind to go to the deck.

“Yeah, I know you’re real sorry, buddy. So am I,” Rick told him. He slid his blazer off his shoulders and draped it over a chair. Hopefully, a good dry cleaner could salvage it. As he unbuttoned his dress shirt, he realized that everything he had on was now permeated with foul fish odour. So, after stripping down to his boxer briefs and leaving his clothes folded on the deck, he ducked inside for a change of clothes. He put on an old pair of jeans and a shirt reserved for yard work, then got down to business setting up a wash station for Mutt.

A galvanized tub that had been sitting unused finally got called into service. Rick dragged it from the shed next to the deck, then began filling it with cool water from the garden hose. Next, he ferried jugs of warm water from the kitchen, pouring it into the tub to get the temperature just right. Mutt had already been punished enough, he figured, no reason the poor pup should have to endure an ice bath on top of it.

As he worked, his stomach rumbled. Right, no dinner yet. If he and Robin were dining at the Firefly Inn as they should’ve been, they probably would’ve already finished their appetizer and salad courses and rounded the corner to entrees. No wonder he was famished. Once Robin returned, she’d surely be hungry too.

He went back inside and opened the fridge to examine the options. If only he’d known, he could’ve defrosted something. There were still a couple of leftover beef patties he’d cooked for lunch the day before, and he took those out along with the rest of the bacon, putting them aside for Mutt.

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