Page 42 of Vows of Sacrifice

This earned her a warning glance from her twin. All I wanted right now was to get away from those two like the plague. I loved them. Far too much, in fact. I had wished to grow up with them, to once again feel like I belonged to a family, since mine was no more for reasons I could no longer recall. Thanks to the elder, their father, that had been the case. It had saved me, I had to admit. But right now, I could only dream of one thing: getting back to my apartments with my wife, even if it meant a less than pleasant discussion with her about my relationship with the Isamane of Osacan.

I turned frankly to Ashana.

“You must be very tired, my lady. It’s been a long journey and we were unable to rest properly.”

She searched my gaze with hers for a long time before opening her mouth:

“I admit I’m exhausted.”

In silent thanks, I squeezed her fingers tighter with mine.

“We will not detain you any longer, in that case,” said Elendur.

Exactly the words I wanted to hear.

“But . . .” Nadrisse tried to object, fidgeting in her seat.

Her brother placed a hand on her arm, then shook his head ‘no.’ The young woman instantly frowned.

“I suppose we’ll have the day tomorrow to get to know each other,” she muttered.

To which I replied with a polite smile.

“It would be a great pleasure, Isamane. However, tomorrow, remember that we have much to do. I want to show Osacan to my wife, among others.”

Elendur burst out laughing.

“Life as a newlywed doesn’t seem to be easy. But don’t forget to set aside some time to prepare for the ceremony in a few days’ time. It will be a day of celebration, after all; you’ve defeated the enemy.”

Hearing these words, it was Ashana who suddenly squeezed my fingers sharply, and I understood very well why. I discreetly returned the embrace as a sign of support. I couldn’t refuse her. It felt like denying an important emotion. Maybe Nadrisse was right. Maybe I had changed. Should I worry about it, or should I let myself be carried away?

After several more superficial exchanges of the same kind, we were finally allowed to leave the royal table, but only after Elendur and Nadrisse had deserted it first. It was very rare to have this kind of one-on-one meal with the twins. Usually, there were several members of their respective courts present, but tonight, it was an intimate, familial affair. The atmosphere must have certainly seemed strange to Ashana. What wasn’t, in this situation?

She didn’t say a word the whole way to my room. Well, our room. It wasn’t until the door was closed that she launched herself. A direct, no-nonsense offensive, without pretense. Exactly what I appreciated, and what was often lacking in the inhabitants of Baal’s castle.

With her hands resting on her hips, Ashana planted her incisive gaze in mine.

“What is there between you and the Isamane?”

I opted for a cautious silence, time to think. I felt my jaw twitch involuntarily.

“We’ve known each other for a long time,” I began, with the faint hope that this simple sentence would ‘explain everything.’

Which, of course, was not the case. Ashana raised an eyebrow. I didn’t want to dwell on the subject, even though I knew I had to.

“And?” she insisted.

Only, I didn’t know how to talk about it without hurting her. Or worse, build a wall between us. An impassable wall. Oddly, I panicked at the thought.

“I was in love with her.”

It wasn’t entirely the truth, but it wasn’t entirely a lie either. It was worry that had spoken those words. The fear of rejection. Suddenly, I realized something important. Some of Paivrin’s words came back to me like a slap in the face. About the flames; these two parts of one soul.

My wife stared at me for a long time, undecided.

“What happened when I went to smoke my cigar? Did she say anything to upset you?”

Venom on the tongue. Nadrisse’s great specialty when events did not go her way.

---