Page 37 of Everywhere You Look

My sister’s face softens, and the look on her face is somewhere between empathy and pity. Of course, she knows all about the way Luke unknowingly turned me down all those years ago, and how I’ve settled for his friendship over the years because a little bit of Luke Cannon is better than nothing.

“Dean. Let me give you a little tough love. You are not twenty-two years old anymore. The five of you are a family. You’re in it, you’re committed, and Luke is, too. He’s been through a lot, but just because he’s the only one who doesn’t see that you two belong together doesn’t make it any less true. You’ve got a long road ahead of you with this custody bullshit, and you’re going to need someone to lean on. I’m just saying, it wouldn’t kill you to lean into someof nature’s stress relief with your hottie husband. You’re kid-free tonight, after all.”

“I appreciate you trying to help, Keeks. But it’s too damn risky.”

Kira reaches across the table and squeezes my hand.

“I can’t force you to listen to me. You spend so much of your life helping other people, trying to fix them, doing your best to hold others up. But you have to realize…Luke Cannon isn’t the type of guy who’s going to break your heart, Dean. In fact, he might just be the one to hold you up for a while, if you give him a chance.”

I blow out a long breath, mulling it all over. I look over at Ollie, who has apple juice dribbling down her chin and the sweetest happy baby smile on her face.

Oh, to be a small baby with no thoughts in the world besides sleeping, pooping, and wondering when the big people are going to give you a piece of croissant.

My sister has a point. I really fucking hate when that happens.

But I’ve got a good thing going here with my insta-family. I don’t think I’m brave enough to take the risk and put my heart out there on the line. No matter how much I can’t seem to get my husband out of my mind.

15

THE PERFECT COUPLE

Dean

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a shit show of such epic proportions. Unless you count that time during my rookie year when the entire Redwoods defense got smashed on Four Lokos and decided to play human bumper cars at that club in Vegas,” Luke leans over to mutter in my ear, and I fake a cough to cover up the snort that comes out of me from that image. It’s a completely accurate description of the show happening in front of us.

It’s the end of Lemmie and Mellie’s weekly ballet class, and like always, the instructor, Miss Michelle, has given the kids freestyle dance time for the last ten minutes. Watching a handful of four and five year old kids in leotards and leggings bounce around toKidz Bop versions of classic pop songs after half an hour of age appropriate ballet instruction is very much like being the only sober friend at two in the morning when your buddies are all hammered.

It’s awkward, adorable, and all around hilarious. Freestyle dance time has quickly become my favorite ten minutes of the week.

Luke and I are sitting in the parent’s corner of the studio, where there are chairs set up for those of us who have the privilege of sticking around to watch the kids dance. Sometimes there are more parents than others who hang out for the full forty minutes, but Luke and I are both lucky enough to be here every week.

The best part about ballet class? The fact that I get to hold Luke’s hand the whole damn time. News of our marriage broke a few days after our ceremony at City Hall, courtesy of someone in the commissioners office leaking a photo of us in our suits. Our teams were on it immediately, and we were able to keep things pretty low key, though. Luke briefly addressed our relationship on the podcast, telling his co-hosts and the Bay Area listeners exactly what we had discussed—we’ve been together for awhile but kept our relationship out of the spotlight, but once we said ‘I do’, neither of us felt like keeping quiet anymore.

Apparently, the internet has totally jumped onboard with our relationship. My social media accounts are run by my team since I decided a long time ago that I was too old to care about keeping up with people online. But my agent made sure to let me know that me and Luke are the it couple of the sports world at the moment. I wasn’t surprised that the public cares about us. I grew up with a famous athlete for a father; having your life scrutinized in the court of public opinion comes with the territory.

What did shock me is that no one seems surprised that Luke and I ended up together. I guess there has been a whole “will they, won’t they” aspect to our friendship amongst sports fans that I never knew about.

The other day, I fell down an internet-sleuthing-video rabbit hole and discovered a fan theory that Luke and I had been dating for years, with photographic evidence to back it up. An hour of watching slideshows of Luke and I sitting just a little too close, hugging just a little too long, and I’ve started to wonder if we’ve actually been a couple this entire time without either of us realizing it.

It’s no wonder the public believes that Luke and I are just like any old, over-the-moon in love and hot for each other newlyweds. We’ve looked like the perfect couple for years.

Despite existing as friends and co-parents whohappen to share a bed in private, we decided we should show a little PDA whenever we’re in public—which, admittedly, isn’t often. Beyond Luke’s desire to keep a low profile outside of the broadcast network, it’s not like we have a ton of time to go out gallivanting about town together. As it turns out, taking care of three kids under the age of six is incredibly time consuming. Who would’ve thought?

But at ballet class every week? At ballet class, I get to hold my husband’s hand, and I love every second of it. These moments, where we look and act and feel like a real couple make me feel like that all the risks might be worth the reward. Maybe I can put my fears aside and tell Luke what I really want.

And what I really want is him.

I bounce Ollie on my knee as I scan the room, looking for Lem and Mel in the mess of littles dancing around, and spot them closest to the mirror holding hands and spinning in a circle with James and Georgie’s kids. Ethan and Taylor are five-year-old twins, too, and they’ll be attending the same kindergarten as Lem, Mel and Cami in the fall.

“How much do you want to bet that the double dose of twins over there are accidentally performing some kind of voodoo magic with their dance circle?” I ask Luke, nodding my head towards the girls.

“Accidentally? Dean, if Lemmie and Mellie everstart casting spells, I can guarantee that it will be a premeditated choice. Our kids don’t half-ass anything.”

I laugh, then press my nose into Ollie’s hair, inhaling her sweet baby scent as a way to mask the dopey grin that spreads across my face whenever Luke refers to the girls as ours. Just like the ring on my finger, that word is a reminder of the enormity of our situation and the way that these three little girls have become the single most important things in my life.

Miss Michelle cuts the music and leads the kids through their goodbye song, and Lemmie and Mellie come barreling towards where we sit at top speed.

“Uncle Lukey! Did you see us dance? And did you see how tall I got when I did the relevé?” Lemmie asks, bouncing on her tiptoes in front of us.

---