Page 43 of Bianca and the Monsters

I can’t respond, such is my shock at being thanked by the woman we’ve failed so epically.

For a few long moments, Bianca relaxes and breathes deeply, but then her blue eyes open and her gaze sharpens. She raises her clenched hand and slowly releases its tension to display what she’s holding. One shimmering feather that sparkles like the jewels all around us.

“Tell me what this feather means.”

The sight of it inspires a shudder in my soul, something she feels or senses. I grit my teeth and shake my head. I’d acknowledged the possibility of this desperate action when Bastien fled the Queen’s Guard, but I still prayed it wouldn’t be necessary.

It’s a full minute before I can speak, my mind forcing me through all the worst possible outcomes and the grief that will never relent. “That is Bastien’s origin feather. The moment he plucked it, he sealed his fate.”

Bianca’s frustration peaks. “What does that mean? Spell it out for me because we don’t have time for secrets.”

If my face were a billboard, it would convey my regret better than my words ever will. “We never meant to withhold from you, my Lady.”

With her free hand, she gently strokes my face. “I know that, Pennie. You didn’t want to burden me when I’ve just arrived, but those weird, scary antler dudes changed that for all of us. I need the truth and I need it now.”

“Yes, my Lady.” I consider where to begin. There is so much. “Tarans have only one way to free themselves from captivity and it’s the same way they achieve their highest bonded state. When Bastien plucked that feather, he immediately began to decline in a way that not even this pool can reverse. Only one thing can save him now.”

“What?” she presses, her hand on my face still now.

“You. He gave you his origin feather because you are his mistress, the only one who will ever hear his song, the only one who could ever have named him. If you don’t claim him soon, he will die.”

“Then I’ll claim him,” she says, as though that is the simplest choice ever.

I kiss her forehead. “You need to hear the consequences first, my Lady.”

“Fine—tell me.”

I hate that I’m telling her this when she’s barely spent any time with all of us. She hasn’t even taken a tour or eaten a meal with us, and we’re on a collision course withforever. “Sweet Bianca, before I tell you, I want you to understand that Bastien would never want you to claim him to your own detriment. He will understand. We willallunderstand.”

Her mood darkens and her scowl is shockingly intense. “You’llunderstandif I let him die? How could you? How couldI? How could that ever make sense? How could I ever forgive myself?”

“But you just arrived here. You just met us.”

Her breath is unsteady. “I know that, but what I feel for Bastien is more powerful than anything I’ve ever felt for anyone other than my dad—more than even him, I think.”

My shoulders droop. “That’s just it, dearest, if you claim Bastien, you can never go home. He can’t cross the portal and he can’t ever be separated from you. I don’t know that you’ll be able to survive any separation after you’ve claimed him. And your father can’t cross the portal without…”

“Without terrible consequences for whichever of you brings him,” she murmurs darkly.

Bianca sinks into my arms and I rock her in slow, steady motions that I don’t think she even notices.

“My father or Bastien… what kind of choice is that?”

“An unfair one,” I say, “and I’m sorry for that, but I can make one thing easier for you. If your father were to want to come here and stay, I am willing to trade myself for him, for you, for Bastien, for our family.”

Bianca stares up at me with wide eyes. “Are you kidding me? You’d do that?”

“Of course, I would. My family’s safety is all that matters to me, even if I am unable to share in it.”

“But where would you go?”

I consider withholding, but her glare sets me straight about that. “It’s a kind of purgatory for monsters, one of many realms dedicated to punishing the guilty. It’s a very bad place, but I’ve lived a long life that involved many chapters in bad places. I’m equipped for the trials, and if my sacrifice would make life easier for you, I would never have a single regret.”

She leans into me and I cradle her closer. “I don’t want to lose you either.”

“And I don’t want to miss a single moment with you orourfamily, but living long enough to have found my true family… that’s a better outcome than I ever thought I deserved.”

A sob escapes her control. “Just hold me, Pennie, for just a few minutes. Hold me until I figure out what to do.”

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