I swallow roughly but I don’t answer her. I can’t.
My mistress grabs my hand and holds it tightly. “Bastien, talk to me.”
“He can’t, my Lady,” Pennie says, his voice reverberating through his body and into mine. “It’s almost too late.”
“Tell me what to do,” my mistress demands, and Remy moves closer—I’d forgotten he was here.
“You shouldn’t make a permanent decision under duress, my Lady,” Remy murmurs, not coldly but still with a directness that causes my mistress’s eyes to flash with fire. I already know, if she wanted him dead she’d never ask me to do it. That pleasure would be all hers.
My mistress glances at Remy for only a second and then soundly ignores him, while looking to Nico, Archie, and Pennie, and then at me. “I can’t let you die… I just can’t. If my father is truly gone, then…” She pauses, unable to speak through her sniffles and choked sobs. “More death won’t bring him back—more death won’t make anything better.” She caresses my numb face. “I can save you, because you are mine to save.” To anyone and everyone in the room, she says, “Now, tell me what to do.”
Pennie gives me a hopeful squeeze. “All you have to do is place his origin feather on your tongue and let it absorb into your body.”
My mistress doesn’t pause for even a moment. She grabs my origin feather from inside her bodice and sets it on her tongue. With her mouth closed, she grips my arm with both her hands.
For a second, I wonder whether it’s too late, but then tingling sparks in my heart and expands throughout my body. My feathers shimmer so brightly, they cast colors onto her face. But then I realize it’s more than that. The effects of our bond show on her skin, with subtle, glittering lines appearing in the shapes of feathers.
My mistress smiles while tears still stream down her cheeks, as she watches the marks of her ownership emerging on the delicate skin on her inner arms, from her wrists to her elbows.
I wonder how much of her will display that I’m hers and it pleases me that she’s clearly in awe of the change.
She grabs me and pulls me to her, hugging me and crying. Then she collapses into her grief and I am with her, our song soothing and forever.
Chapter35
Nico
Ifinally understand.
All the nights I spent trapped in nightmares—what felt like a million nights, at least—were about this moment.
The moment I will make a choice that takes me away from my family forever.
In neither my dreams nor my haunted waking hours could I ever imagine why I would willinglychooseto leave them. The dreams were so real. Real enough that I felt just how much I would love this family. Real enough that I knew them when I first found them. Real enough that when I first saw our beloved Bianca, I knew she belonged with us.
A newfound ache blooms in my soul—I will miss them so—but in equal measure, I feel absolute certainty in what I must do. And relief to finally understand why.
Through hitching sobs, Bianca says, “Pennie, can we go to your cavern? I just want to hide from everything for a while.”
“Of course, my Lady,” Pennie answers in a tone so pained it’s barely recognizable to me. He’s never grieved for himself with the intensity he clearly feels from observing our Bianca’s pain.
Archie’s cheeks are stained with tears, and he’s watching me closely. He knows about my dreams and exactly what I’m going to do. He’s undoubtedly conflicted but he won’t seek to alter my plans, not when we know who pays the price if I fail at the task that’s chased me all my life.
I nod to Archie, who steps forward and lifts Bianca, while Pennie stands, Bastien still in his arms. I watch them leave the room, knowing a goodbye will only bring more anguish to a day already too burdened by it.
“What’s happening?” Remy murmurs, his concern surprising.
I turn to him, my fur bristling in preparation for him to deliver a predictable answer. “Well, old friend, the time has come for us to part ways. Will you perchance grant me one favor before I leave this realm to you?”
Remy’s tension inflates his presence in the room, his crown of antlers glowing. “What are you saying?”
I still feel Bianca’s tears on my fur and dare to hope I’ll feel them even where I’m going. “I’m saying it isn’t enough to justnotharm a woman, especially when we have the power to do more.”
“You want to save her father?” He’s incredulous, gaping at me with a strangely open mouth. “But the law, you’ll…”
I nod, already feeling the hints of the separation that will be final. “I will spend all of eternity trapped in a monster’s hell—yes, I’m quite well aware.”
“But…”