Page 123 of Court of Lies and Deceit

She stops dead in her tracks, staring down at her own chest with wide eyes, as if she can’t believe that the words actually came out of her own mouth. We all stop as well, blinking at her in shock.

But apparently, she isn’t the only one who suddenly gets the urge to spill her closely guarded secrets, because Galen blurts out, “I don’t know how to trust myself anymore. After I found out the truth about Draven, I don’t trust my own instincts anymore.”

“I don’t actually want to be alone,” Alistair says, his eyes as wide and stunned as the rest of us. “I’m just terrified that people will hurt me again.”

“I’m worried that I might be a villain.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. It’s as if every safeguard in my mind is suddenly gone, and my mouth is just blurting out my deepest darkest secret without my consent. “All my life, I’ve tried so hard to be good. But if push ever comes to shove, I’m terrified that I might become a villain.”

“I’m so tired of never being allowed to have a bad day,” Lyra picks up. Her eyes are wild, slightly unfocused, as she gazes out at the rest of us. “People always expect me to be cheerful, and when I have a bad day, everyone makes such a big deal of it. Everyone else gets to have bad days all the time. But not me. Why do I always have to be the one who has to lighten the mood?”

“If we win this war, I don’t want to go straight back to the Western Isles and be responsible for everyone again,” Draven says, desperation lacing his voice. “I want to just fly off and takedecadesto actually enjoy my freedom first. To actually be free for once in my life.”

Deafening silence settles over our group as we just stare at each other. It hangs in the oppressive air above us like a sword. Goddess above, I can’t believe that I actually admitted that. ThatI actually said that out loud. And based on the way everyone is staring at each other, we’re all feeling the same thing.

Something is wrong, my mind yet again pushes. Insistent. Urgent.

“Azaroth’s flame,” Lyra presses out. “I’m so freaking hungry.”

I blink in surprise as she grabs a handful of pale blue mushrooms from the tree next to her and stuffs them into her mouth. For a while, we all just watch her stand there and chew and swallow those strange mushrooms. My mind feels thick. Like it’s filled with sludge. I know I should be doing something.

Trying to force a breath of clarity through my thick mind, I ask, “Are you sure you should?—”

Lyra stands up straight. Everything about her demeanor changes in a heartbeat. Blinking, she gives her head a quick shake. Then she looks down at the mushrooms. Then back up at us.

“You need to eat this,” she says. Her voice is suddenly crisp and clear. No trace of confusion or uncertainty. “Now.”

“No, thanks,” Alistair says, giving the weird mushrooms a dubious glance.

Turning to the nearest tree, Lyra rips off more mushrooms and holds them out to us. Her orange eyes are more serious than I have ever seen as she says, “Trust me.”

The sincerity in her tone strikes something deep inside me. And in the others too, apparently, because we all reach out and take some mushrooms. I pop two of them in my mouth, chewing carefully.

They taste surprisingly fresh. Kind of like a minty herb. But it’s not as if it’s the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten.

I swallow, casting a confused glance at Lyra.

Why did she want us to?—

The fog clears from my mind.

That thick haze that has been pressing against my brain and making me feel as if I’m suffocating disappears as if blown away by a crisp mountain breeze. I suck in a deep breath, feeling my lungs expand and finally filling with air.

“What the hell just happened?” Alistair asks, looking stunned but fully present at last.

“I’m not sure.” Lyra holds up one of the pale blue mushrooms. “But I think these counter the effects of it.”

We all glance down at the mushrooms before meeting each other’s gazes again. Tense awkwardness suddenly hangs over our group. None of us clearly meant to share what we blurted out a few minutes ago.

“Have I mentioned how much I hate forests?” Alistair mutters, shattering the tense silence. “If I never have to see another forest again in my entire life, it will be too soon.”

We all draw in a small collective breath of relief. Perfect. We’re just going to pretend that we didn’t hear those secrets we just shared.

“Speaking of endless forests, how much time have we spent here?” Galen asks, worry crinkling his brow.

Draven tilts his head back, glancing up towards the sky. Except, we still can’t see the sky. Only a thick canopy of leaves meets us up there.

“I don’t know,” he replies at last, sounding troubled. “Can anyone remember when we stopped seeing the yellow cloud?”

We exchange a glance, but no one speaks up. Uneasiness slithers through our group like snakes. Whatever was affecting us earlier clearly messed with our senses. We might have lost a lot more time than we think.

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