Page 127 of Court of Lies and Deceit

“Selena!”

Strong arms wrap around my chest and wrench me away.

The world snaps back into focus around me as I lose the grip on my magic when I’m yanked away from the desperate woman before me. I stumble as my feet meet the ground once more. Blinking, I try to locate the woman again. But instead, a pair of worried golden eyes lock on me.

“Hey,” Draven says, his voice filled with worry as well. His bloodstained hands cup my cheeks gently while he looks me up and down with those searching eyes of his. “Are you okay?”

For a few moments, my mind can’t process what is happening. All I can do is to stare back at him in stunned silence. My heart beats so loudly in my chest that I can barely hear anything, and my mind spins.

But then, another sound starts making its way through the pounding of my heart.

Screams. Pleas. Desperate begging. Sobbing. Crying. More screaming.

“Please. Mercy. Please, I’m begging you.”

Reality hits me like a slap.

Yanking my face out of Draven’s hands, I whirl around towards Blondie. The woman is still on the ground. Her body shakes violently and her eyes are wide and utterly unhinged. She yanks at her hair and slams her hands against the ground in between bursts of crying and screaming and pleading.

I stare at her, horrified.

Draven seems to be able to feel that horror through the mate bond, because he quickly steps over and slits the woman’s throat, putting her out of her misery.

I drag in an unsteady breath. Nausea turns in my stomach and horror crawls up my throat as I stare at the now dead woman before me. My head rings as if someone has hit a gigantic bell inside it.

What the hell did I just do?

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

“This is definitely not just a game anymore,” Draven says while sheathing his sword down his spine again. “They came at us with the intent to kill.”

A jolt shoots through me. Tearing my gaze from the slaughter around us, I glance up at the canopy and the bits of sky visible above, as if I can see the mass of spectators watching this from the stands of the arena.

Oh Goddess, people are watching this. In here, with only the twisted trees and colorful plants around us, I’ve forgotten that the farseer is projecting everything that is happening in here for the Unseelie Court to see. Dread curls around my spine. What must they think of me? How much could they see? I knew what I was doing to the White Faction since I was making the decisions in my mind, but how much of what happened could someone understand from the outside? Could they tell how much I liked it?

Panic flutters through my stomach.

Even now, I can still remember that intoxicating feeling of power and pleasure that utterly consumed me. Still remember how good it felt to be the one in control. To hold someone else’s life in my hands. Can still remember that incredible pleasurethat comes from creating emotions from nothing. I already want to feel it again.

Jocasta told me that the addictive effect would likely be stronger for me since my magic is stronger, but I didn’t realize justhowintense it would be. I need to figure out how to handle that side effect of my powers. Because what happened here today can never happen again.

“You sure you’re okay?” Draven asks, his golden eyes worried as he looks me up and down.

Another pang of dread hits me right in the chest. Oh Goddess. Draven. He must have been able to feel it through the mate bond. He must have been able to sense the pleasure I felt when I was torturing that woman. How am I supposed to explain all of this to him?

“Yes, no, sorry.” I clear my throat and drag in a breath to compose myself while desperately trying to come up with some kind of explanation that won’t make me sound like a raging psycho who is one tiny tether away from losing control. “Whatever was happening before we ate those blue mushrooms messed with my head, and I think it’s still affecting me a little.”

A knot tightens in my stomach. Goddess above, I really hate lying to him. But it’s just until I can get a better handle on my powers. Just until I can better manage the side effects. I don’t want to be the weak link in our team. I don’t want to be a burden and a failure. I don’t want to be the one who drags everyone down just because I can’t control my own bloody magic. It’s absurd. I’m a hundred and sixty-seven years old, and I still haven’t figured my shit out. I need to get a handle on this. Fast.

Because I don’t want to be the weak link.

Irefuseto be the weak link.

So I keep my mouth shut and let Draven believe the lie.

He lets out a low curse under his breath. Then he straightens and flares his wings. “Alright, then let’s get the hell out of this insane fucking forest.”

Blinking in surprise, I glance between him and the small gaps in the trees above. “But the natives… They’ll see us.”

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