Page 30 of Court of Lies and Deceit

But as we make our way out through the castle’s main entrance, I can’t get his words out of my head.

A former commander who trusts no one.

That’s what he said about Draven.

But he’s wrong.

The more I think about it, the more I realize something that should have been glaringly obvious but which I haven’t even noticed until now.

Draven trustsme.

During the assassination last night, he trusted me with his life. Trusted me to get us through the house without anyone spotting us.

But it’s more than that.

He has been trusting me for months now. Trusting me with important things. Even when I hated him.

Even though he has had his wings savagely whipped for years, decades, he still trusts me to touch them. I didn’t even realize it until now. After all the brutality and pain he has suffered, he must be incredibly wary of letting people touch his wings. But he lets me touch them. Even as far back as that time in the underground forest during the Atonement Trials when I still considered him an enemy. Even then, he still trusted me not to hurt him.

And he trusted me with his freedom. While we were in the Ice Palace, he gave me clues, trusting me to figure out the answer.That comment about why the furniture in his room was gray and not black. Telling me to question things that don’t make sense.

Something else he said slams back into me and clangs through my mind like a giant bell.I knew that I had found someone who understood what it’s like to be hated for something that you haven’t chosen.He couldn’t tell me what was really going on, so he left me little clues like that in our conversations, trusting me to figure out that the Icehearts were controlling him with dragon steel.

And most of all, he trusted me with his heart.

And I stomped all over it.

Pain slices through my chest at the memory of that night.

He told me that I was his mate, and I just screamed back at him that I didn’t want to be his mate. I can still remember the hurt that pulsed across his face when I said that.

I swallow against a sudden thickness in my throat as I watch Draven where he walks down the white stone steps that lead down from the castle’s main entrance.

The Unseelie King said that Draven trusts no one.

But he has trusted me with everything.

His life.

His body.

His freedom.

His heart.

All my life, no one has ever trusted me with anything. But he does.

I grip the fabric of my shirt right over my heart to try to stifle the ache that suddenly pulses through my entire chest. It’s followed by a flash of burning rage. I have never been this angry with the universe in my entire life.

All the suffering I have endured in the Seelie Court is nothing compared to the sheer injustice of knowing that some mystical force in the universe chose who I should love. There is notenough fire in hell to describe the utter rage I feel when I think about how I wasn’t allowed to choose Draven on my own. Because now, every time something like this happens, there is always a seed of doubt buried deep in my chest.

A seed of doubt that is always asking things like: does he trust you because he loves you or because the mate bond has conditioned him to trust you? And: do you actually love him back or is everything you feel just the result of the mate bond tampering with your emotions?

A snarl threatens to escape my throat, so I snap my mouth shut. Dropping my hand from my shirt, I shake it out in frustration and then stalk down the steps after Draven and the others.

If I ever meet the being who invented the concept of fated mates, I’m going to rip their fucking heart out and make them eat it.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

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