Page 63 of Blade

Us, Brock, her past, her trauma, her mother, her brother, her fucking lying to me for months about who she really was, her fucking running and trying to kill herself, the baby but of course, I only have one fucking thing on my mind.

“Did you fuck him?” I ask quietly, and slowly, I look up and lock eyes with the ones I fell hard and fast for. Luna frowns in confusion, so I add, “That fucker coworker, did you fuck him?”

Her mouth parts slightly shocked, and she whispers, “You’re jealous?”

I scoff, “No, princess, I’m not jealous. I’m fucking infuriated,” her brows rise, “I didn’t want this, Luna. I didn’t want a relationship or an old lady. I loved my life how it fucking was with the club and any woman I could have.”

I stand and turn my back to her, trying to keep my cool.

“I had everything figured out. I knew how my life would go. I didn’t want to be like my dad, so I swore a woman wasn’t in the cards for me,” I rasp, then turn and look at her and admit, “The moment I saw you in that diner, my whole fucking world changed in a blink of an eye. It didn’t matter that I kept telling myself it was just sex, that I’d be done after a few months. You were mine, and I was yours,” her eyes tear up, “Hence, no, Luna,I’m not jealous, I’m infuriated because the thought of another man touching you not only has turned me murderous, but it has also broken my fucking heart because maybe, just maybe, I was the only one who fell.”

Silence falls between us, and I turn my back to her again.

I’m supposed to be making sure she’s alright mentally, but instead, all I can fucking focus on is my hurt.

And the award for the most selfish prick goes to…

I hear rustling, but I don’t move, keeping my head bowed, my back to her before I feel her hands touch my hips before they slowly glide around my waist, and she presses her front to my back as she lays her head between my shoulder blades and fuck me, contentment fills.

I’ve missed her so fucking much.

Within two days after she left, I realized how much she had buried deep inside me and the thought of losing her again…Fuck.

“It was one kiss that I regret,” she whispers, “I felt like I was cheating on you, and I shoved him away even in my drunken state,” my heart pounds before she confesses, “The pain and trauma, I couldn’t escape it, not once and then you came into my life and suddenly, the filth, the dirt, it was gone. Every touch, every kiss, you made it leave me, and it stayed gone until he managed to corner me again, and you threw me away. Drinking did the same you did, but only for a few hours, so I became dependent on it.”

I turn, and she loosens her grip until we’re facing each other. Then she tightens it again, and we lock eyes, hers shining with unshed tears.

“I haven’t been with anyone else, Leo, and even thoughhebelieved I had in high school and college, I didn’t. As far as I’m concerned, in my mind, you are my only,” she croaks, and I nod, seeing her truth.

Her brother mentioned that dating was banned for her growing up because she needed to put her schooling first, and I’m guessing that only further angered Brock because that meant his plans were put on hold.

“I haven’t been with anyone else since laying eyes on you in that diner,” I reply, and she sniffles.

“Even though you said you had a date?” she questions, and I huff, “I wanted to hurt you, Luna. I felt fucking blindsided after my mother, who had been a pain in my ass, trying to get herself kicked out of the club, something I've just realized over the past few weeks, showed me a family picture of you with a club. At the time, we thought they were trying to start a war. Women were getting raped, innocent people being hurt and killed.”

“You thought my brother sent me to ruin you,” she sighs. I nod once and admit, “And I can tell you this now, Luna, having that feeling, it nearly destroyed me because it was then I realized we weren’t fuck buddies or friends with benefits,” my eyes race between hers, “I realized that I fell in love with you.”

Her tears fall, and she asks, “Even now, knowing I may never be able to have kids?”

“Even now,” I reply.

She sniffles, “After finding out that I’m broken, dirty…”

I shake my head and deny, “You are not broken or dirty, princess. You are fucking strong.”

“I tried to commit suicide, Leo, and I aborted a baby because I couldn’t bear the thought of it maybe being his, meaning I could have aborted our baby,” she reminds me, and I cup her face, gripping it hard enough to get my point across but not hard enough to leave a mark.

“Like I said, princess, you are fucking strong,” I state firmly, and she nods, keeping our eyes locked.

Her throat bobs, and she whispers, “Even though I feel no guilt over what I did tohim, that I feel at peace?”

I didn’t expect that. I honestly thought she was going to fall apart, fuck, she choked him with his dick!

She chews her bottom lip and then admits, “I feel free, Leo, and I thought I would be falling apart, maybe seeing him or wanting to leave, but I-I, I’m free. I can do whatever I want. There’s no looking over my shoulder. If I want to talk to people, I can and won’t get punished for it. I want to travel, then off I go. I’m free, and while yes, my trauma is still there, what he did won’t disappear overnight, but for the first time in years, I truly believe I can do whatever I want without fear. If that makes me a bad person, then honestly, I don’t care anymore. After nearly eight years I have finally destroyed my abuser, and I can move on with my life.”

My chest tightens with her words, and I nod, trying not to panic and mutter, “Even now.”

She physically relaxes into me as she gently lays her head over my heart, and I quickly wrap my arms around her waist, holding her tight to me.

---