Page 132 of One Good Reason

“I love her.” I don’t know when the shit happened, but it did, and I’ve accepted it.

“Love her like you loved Dah?” Preme queried.

“Nawl. Iloveher.”

“Does she know?”

“She doesn’t.”

“Come on, Dutch,” he groaned.

“Things in her past has her incapable of accepting my love, Preme. Ain’t like I’on wanna tell her. I just know that the point she is in- in her life, has her feeling she’s not worthy of it. Until she can come to grips with the shit, me telling her won’t make a difference.”

“You could try.”

“She’s not ready. Believe me. And in a way, neither am I. The way I feel for her surpasses anything I ever felt for Adele.”

“Damn, Dutch,” Preme sighed.

“It’s that deep. I let her meet Mama.”

“Dah met mama.”

“By default. It was never intended for the two of them to cross paths. This–” I pointed. “Was intentional. I’m trying Preme. Give me that aight.”

“One thing at a time,” he conceded.

“One thing at a time.”

“I’mma go check on Mama. Loosen up and enjoy yourself. Yo’ ass sitting here all uptight as usual. It’s okay to let ya’ guard down, Dutch.”

“One thing at a time,” I reiterated over my shoulder as he walked off.

Telling Preme how I felt about Talitha was my first time admitting the shit. I knew I loved her the moment she admitted that her stepdad was the one responsible for years of torment. Knew I loved the shit out of her when I’d made it my mission to find out everything about him. Unbeknownst to her or anyone else, I’d been plotting on how and when I was going to knock him off the fucking map. The love I had for her exceeded anything I’d felt for anyone else. Like I told Preme, I wouldn’tadmit the shit to her until I knew she was in the place to receive it.

“Why you separating yourself from everyone? These yo’ people.” Grabbing her by the hand, I helped Gema take a seat before occupying the space beside her.

“I’m not separating myself. Just taking it all in.”

“Your mother… she’s a rather peculiar one.”

“She’s something else,” I nodded.

“You gotta forgive her, Law.”

“What makes you think I haven’t?” I tossed my eyes in her direction before looking back out to the field.

“It’s in your mannerisms. Before she showed up, you were jovial. I’ve watch you stand there like a black cloud was lingering over your head.”

“In a way it is,” I chortled.

“You gotta forgive her. Gotta figure out how to love her in spite of how she didn’t love you. You can’t have resentment in your heart cause all it’s gone do is hold you back from our girl and when I’m gon’ she will need you to hold her up.”

“Where you going Gema?”

“To be with my husband when the good Lord ready to call me home.”

“Don’t let Talitha hear you talking like that. She will never let you out of her sight.”

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