Page 149 of One Good Reason

“You taking it the wrong way, Tali,” Louise tried to intervene.

“I’m taking it the way y’all putting it out there. This one–” I pointed to my mama. “Dealt with Gema cause she thought it was gon’ give her some brownie points. Meat, you don’t come around, don’t call, hell… don’t even send a fucking birthday card.

Louise you just… I can’t even begin to tell you ‘bout yo’ self. Willearl you halfway decent, at least you tried sometimes. Hell, I applaud you for your half ass effort. Betty Jo… Pick a fucking side and stay there. That back-and-forth shit ain’t getting you nowhere at all.

Wanna know what I’mma do with the money? I’mma keep the fucking property taxes paid on the house and put the rest in the bank for a rainy day. A ‘in case one of y’all fuck up’ day. I promised Gema I would look out for y’all and I’mma keep my promise. I’m giving y’all twenty-four hours to make peace before I have the machines unplugged. When I settle on a time and date for the funeral, I’ll hit y’all up. I’ll be back tomorrow. I can’t do this with y’all today.” Grabbing my purse off the couch from by Law, I tossed it over my shoulder and stormed out of the room.

My granny laid up in the bed essentially brain dead and they asking ‘bout some fucking money. I don’t know what was sadder; the fact that they ain’t care enough about her to be respectful at her bedside or the fact that all they was concerned with was some money.

“Talitha, wait up,” Law called after me.

“I just–” Shaking my head, I spun around in his direction with tears in my eyes. “They make me so fucking mad. I’m so angry Law, and I’m trying. God knows I’m trying. Trying hard not to show my natural black ass in these folks hospital cause God forbid they ban my ass and I can’t say my proper goodbyes.”

Grabbing me by the hand, Law pulled me into his chest. “The shit they’ve got going on is something they’ll have to answer for. Your only mission right now is fulfilling Gema’s last wishes and laying her to rest properly. Why go back and forth with them about something that was solidified years ago? You don’t owe them anything. Gema and your grandfather made the decisions they made for a reason.”

“I keep trying with them because I feel like it’s the right thing to do… ya’ know,” I cried. “Gema wouldn’t want us to be sitting up here arguing, and definitely not about no fucking money. They just make me so… ugh!” I groaned louder than I planned. “Please get me out of here. Take me back to the hotel where Mrs. Jessie is. I can’t stay here like this. The more I try to be strong, the more they do or say something to piss me off.”

“Let’s go love. We can come back later when everyone has retired for the evening.” Slipping his hand inside of mine, Law walked me out of the hospital.

“You know it’s always the ones who do the least that expects something. Black people kill me when someone passes. They barely come around while they’re alive and the minute they pass, everybody sitting around with the hand out looking for something.

Do you know your daughter had the nerve to say we need to go ahead and sell the house. Sell a house that she has never had anything to do with. Gema, I’m trying.” I chuckled bitterly. “Then that Meat. Good God. Boy looking for some money. What money Gema? You left Meat something and ain’t tell me? Louise round here acting like somebody blaming her for all of this. She barely holding her head up cause she scared I’mma say something to her.

Ain’t nobody blaming her. I swear fo’ Papa Joe. I know you clumsy, been saying it for months. I’m not mad at her. But you know who I am mad at. You! I’m so angry with you Gema cause youknewbetter. You knew to call somebody if you needed to get up out of the bed.

You know when the sun go down, you get a lil’ confused. I bet that’s what happened.” I gripped her hand tighter. “You woke up and realized you wasn’t at home in yo’ bed and prolly was ‘bout to come looking for me. You knew better Bertha Mae. I done told you so many times don’t get up out that bed in such a rush. You know you gotta sit there for a minute to let yo’ head stop swimming.

I know… I know… All I do is fuss but girl you don’t be listening. And look at you now.” I reached out and stroked her hair. “Laid up in the hospital with a tube going down ya’ throat. What I’m supposed to do now girl? How I’m supposed to let these people turn off this machine and go on ‘bout life like everything all good. Girl…” I sucked in a deep breath when I felt my tears start to flow down my face.

“You tell Papa Joe, I did it. I did everything he told me to do. I want you here with me but I know your place is up there with him. Bertha Mae, you’re a saint if I ain’t never seen one before. Thank you for rescuing me from that dark place and loving me in spite of my flaws. Thank you for instilling morals and values in me. Thank you for molding me into the woman I am today. Most importantly thank you for giving me a chance at life.

I know you prolly tired of hearing me talk now so I’ll stop. I wanted to speak my peace before everybody came back up here. Don’t show out to bad when you get to Heaven girl. You better get up there and act like you got some sense. Like I raised you right.” Wiping my eyes on the sleeve of my cardigan, I dropped Gema’s hand and stood from the chair I’d pushed up to her bedside.

“I’mma miss you so much baby. You’re free Gema.” My voice cracked. “I love you so much.” Laying one last kiss on her forehead, I gathered my things and walked out of her room. I’d made peace with the situation last night. I wanted uninterrupted time with her and I’d gotten that.

“You ready?” Law asked when I rounded the corner.

“I am.” Turning to her medical team, I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my sweats. “I’ve signed off on the documents, I don’t need to hear the whole spill. If you must then tell it to the rest of them when they show up. If they want to stay here and watch it happen that’s fine with me. The funeral home will be here at five this evening to retrieve the body. Thank you so much for all that you’ve done to assist me in her transition.”

“You’re welcome Ms. Howard, and we’re truly sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.” I tipped my head at them and turned to walk away.

While I handled my business out here, Law went back to Atlanta to grab clothes for me and Mrs. Jessie. I’d told him I planned on being here long enough to settle the will and closeout her accounts and everything. I also needed to sit down with the rest of them and planned on doing so before Meat got ghost again.

Because me and Gema had already set everything up and was just waiting for the time to come, it took no time for us to set a date for the funeral. After finalizing everything, the date had finally come and instead of riding in the limo with the rest of the family, I’d chose to let Baker escort Mrs. Jessie and me.

Standing in the bathroom mirror, I put the finishing touches on my makeup. Gema service was at noon and it was nearing eleven o’clock. Out of all of the things I could’ve felt today, numb was at the top of the list. Numb because today would be the last day I got to see my best friend in the physical. All I would have left were memories of what used to be.

I don’t remember it being this hard when we buried Papa Joe, probably because Gema was by my side and also because I had to keep my emotions in check because she had lost her life partner.

Mrs. Jessie and Law being here had helped me a great deal, but I would be lying if I said I couldn’t tell that something was missing. The day I had the plug pulled on Gema, my mama called herself trying to check me about not being there. After I cursed her the fuck out and told her I’d already spent my time with Gema, I blocked her from my phone.

The last thing tying me to her was getting ready to be lowered into the ground by her husband and I was officially done being nice. After I got the business side of things squared away, I was done with everyone down here. They wouldn’t hear from me, nor would they ever see me again. Not even Betty Jo flip flopping ass, and I meant that shit.

Peeking her head through the door, Mrs. Jessie asked, “Tali, are you ready?”

Sucking in a deep breath, I pushed out, “I guess.”

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