“I think I’m good for a while.” I shrugged dismissively, not wanting to obsess over my failing love life.
The woman Dahlia accused me of admiring so much was twenty-one years my senior. What started out as her wanting to teach me how to please a woman easily morphed into me falling in love with her. Adele was my first love, the woman whom I credited for me being the man that I am today. Of course I admired her, she taught me a lot.
It was me who had the idea of taking our relationship further than just sex. Adele was fresh out of a divorce and expressed not wanting to go down that road again. While I understood and respected her, I secretly held a certain level of resentment toward her. Our situation made me feel like women would dangle the possibility of something long-term in your face only to snatch it back when it no longer benefited them. Looking at things on the other side, I now realize it’s exactly what I had done to Dahlia.
Dahlia and I just happened. It was never anything that was supposed to go further than a few dates and late-night sessions. Over time, she became my friend and from there, a relationship formed. Because of my history with Adele, I let it be known from the beginning that outside of the lavish lifestyle, quality time, and having her on my arm for everything, I couldn’t and wouldn’t offer anything more. She chose to stay around. It would have been easy to call her a kept woman, but that would be the furthest from the truth.
Dahlia worked hard at everything she did, so I was confident that she could survive without me. Because of the fact that I didn’t see a long-term future with her, I had my lawyer draw up an agreement that stated if and when the relationship was dissolved, she would walk away with an undisclosed amount of money. I kept my end of the bargain, regardless of how much it pained me to let her go. I loved her, indeed, but the only woman that I’d ever seen a future with was the one sitting across fromme now. Since that wasn’t a possibility, I had long decided that it was no longer a goal of mine.
TALITHA HOWARD
My mind was spinning from all the chatter in the room. It was hard to make out words because they were being hurled at me by five different people. I tried to listen to everyone’s reason and while I agreed with a few of them, there were also a few that I could give two fucks about. It wasn’t until I heard someone mention getting the state involved that I snapped out of a haze.
“If we let Medicaid send her out a nurse, I would have to sign over the house,” I argued.
“And why would that be a problem?” my egg donor countered. “You’re not here during the day. God knows what you got going on up there in Alanna.”
“I work in At-lan-ta,” I enunciated to correct her mispronunciation. “Besides, we all know how Gema feels about her house. It took her and Papa Joe thirty years to pay off their mortgage. It would be absurd to just sign over their hard-earned work to the state.”
“Mama ain’t getting no better Tali,” my uncle Meat blurted out.
This family “meeting” or whatever they were calling it had been scheduled for the past two months and instead of his ass coming home for it, he decided we could just call him on FaceTime. That was part of the reason I was pissed the fuck off. I didn’t ask for much. When it came to Bertha Mae, all I asked her five kids to do was watch her while I went to work. Everything else I had taken care of since the day my grandad passed.
“You think I don’t know that? I’m here twenty-four seven. The only time I’m not is when I have to go to work. I sacrificed everything fory’allmama. I didn’t get to go away to college and get the full experience.”
“Alanna sure the hell ain’t Warner Robins.”
“Litha, let the girl talk,” Uncle Willie Earl rasped, halting my egg donor right in her tracks. Out of all my Gema kids, Uncle Willie Earl was ‘bout the only one with good sense.
“Willearl, don’t start no shit with me. I be the one taking mama to her doctor appointments.”
“Only cause Tali be up there at work. You act like Alanna ten hours away. The girl goes to work and comes straight home to mama. It’s a wonder she got time to herself.”
“Well, how ‘boutyousee to her the next time?” She pouted and folded her arms across her chest.
Rolling my eyes at her dramatic ass, I chewed the bottom of my lip. “I tell you what. How about I buy me a house in Atlanta and take Gema with me? That way y’all can do whatever the hell y’all want with this one. Hell, from where I’m sitting, it looks like neither of you are willing to step up anyways.” I doubted either of them would agree, but what choice did I have?
My job at Youth Villageswasin Douglasville, which was two hours away from my hometown. I worked Monday to Friday from 8 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., and the back and forth was starting to put a strain on my body. I mean, shit, I had been doing it for the past ten years. I could have found a job closer to home, but nobody was willing to pay me more than what I was currently making. It was clear as day that I couldn’t trust none of Gema’s children to look after her while I was at work, so the only solution was to move and bring her alone.
“Now you wait a minute, Tali. You know I agree with you half the time but uprooting my Mama from her house ain’t gon’ do nomore good than signing it over to the state,” Louise, the baby of the bunch, shared.
“And you’ve been to how many appointments?” I spat.
“Y’all be quiet and let Tali talk. Damn,” Betty Jo bellowed.
You would think the five of them would be grateful that someone was willing to take the responsibility off their hands. I mean, after all, they did treattheirmother like she was a burden. Hell, I was really the only one that took care of her. Granted, my mama took her to her appointments and checked on her daily, but it was all done for a reason. Gema had heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and a list of other ailments that people her age get. Her children knew she wouldn’t be around too much longer, which is why my mama liked to play her close.
Everybody was more concerned ‘bout what they would get after she perished. It was the same thing I dealt with when Papa Joe passed. They were pissed off when my grandparents' attorney read the will. My papa knew how his kids were, which is why he left everything to me. I didn’t ask for it and offered to give it to them. My aunt Betty Jo was the one that told me I deserved it.
From the time I was five years old, I had lived with my grandparents. When I graduated high school, they sent me off to Spelman in Atlanta for college. My sophomore year, my granddad had a massive heart attack and passed, which is why I ended up moving off campus and back into the house with my granny. For two years straight, I drove back and forth between Atlanta and Warner Robins so I could be with Gema full-time. When I finished my bachelor’s, I took online classes to gain my masters.
I had been successful at my job for years and made enough money to live comfortably. Not only could I afford to move, but thanks to the money I inherited from my grandpa, I could affordto hire a nurse for Gema without having to sign her house over to the damn state.
“I don’t give a damn what she got to say. My Mama not moving to no damn Alanna.”
“And I guess you can do better.”
“Don’t start with me, Betty Jo.”