Page 45 of One Good Reason

I shook my head.

“That’s fine with me. But you need to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You ain’t ate shit but some cookies on the plane. I counted about five glasses of champagne today so either you come out of this room and eat, or I’ll be forced to feed your stubborn ass,” he avowed, making me laugh.

“Seriously Law. I’m not in the mood.”

“I know. You said you don’t want to talk. I’m not going to force the issue. I am, however, going to make sure you put something on your stomach so you won’t end up sick.”

I knew Law meant business, so after sitting there pouting for a few minutes, I finally tugged the white robe closed and tightened the belt around my waist. I was naked underneath it, and the last thing I needed was for my boss to get a peek at my body.

Law held his hand out for me to grab so he could assist me to my feet. Instead of taking it, I looked down at it briefly before brushing past him. I would eat because I knew it was the only way to get him to leave me alone, but I refused to talk. All it would take was him saying any little thing and I was going to end up in tears.

Making my way over to the table, I took a seat and tucked my right foot under my butt. When Law sat down across from me, his cologne wafted through the air and tickled my nose. Had I not been an emotional wreck, the scent of him would’ve drove me mad. Right now, it wasn’t drawing anything out of me.

Instead of looking up at him, I stared at the covered plates strategically placed in the middle of the table. I guess he knew I wasn’t planning on budging because he leaned over and removed the lid from my plate.

“Eat Talitha.”

“I told you I’m not hungry.”

“Eat it anyway,” he bleated in that raspy, gruff ass demanding voice.

I rolled my eyes and looked down to inspect what was on the plate. Cutting into the grilled fish, I forked a piece into my mouth. While I nibbled on my food, Law’s eyes never left my face. I could feel him staring a hole through me and still I refused to look at him. The way the table was positioned, I had a clear view of the window, so I decided to just stare out of it.

I knew he was eating because every so often I would hear his utensils on the glass plate. The air around us was thick and uncomfortable. I felt like my throat was constricting with everysecond that passed. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around the conversation that I’d just had with Gema’s children. I knew what my mama’s issue was with me but the other ones I couldn’t figure it out. I had never done anything to any of them, and yet, every chance they got to teamed up against me, they did.

It felt like I swallowed a rock when I swallowed the piece of fish that I had been holding in my mouth. So much so that I dropped my fork and clutch my neck, my eyes closed as I sucked in several deep breaths. I was trying to keep myself from having a panic attack and as it stood, my efforts were futile. Law must’ve realized something was wrong because before I could move, he was out of his chair and at my side.

“Talitha.” His hand wrapped around my wrist as he repeated my name several times.

Grabbing his elbow, I sucked in as much air as my lungs could hold. When I pushed the air back out, a wail spewed out of my mouth. My chest heaved up and down as tears rushed down my face. I felt like I was dying, hell, death would probably be better than living in this fucking nightmare.

The more I cried, the more my vision blurred. Arms wrapped around my waist before my body was hoisted in the air. When I realized I was being carried bridal style out of the living room, I laid my head on his chest and let go of everything that I was holding in. At some point, Law had sat down with me still attached to him.

“Ssshhhh,” he cooed as he rocked us back and forth. “It’s going to be okay.”

The urge to protest was at the tip of my tongue but I was just so hurt. I don’t know how long we stayed locked in that position but at some point my tears had dried up. Numbness had set in and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

Closing my eyes, I let out the one thing that I swore I would neveradmit. “Sometimes I want to end it all. Then I think abouthow selfish that would be. I fear what it would do to Gema.” My voice was hoarse from all of the crying I had done but I was suffocating and needed to get this off my chest. “I’ve been fighting with them since Papa Joe died and sometimes, I think maybe if I just let them have her, my life would be so much better. I didn’t have to do it. I did it because I know she would’ve done it for me.

Shediddo it for me. I do it out of love. But my God. It would be so easy to just give up. Say fuck it and let them kill her. Cause that’s exactly what’s going to happen if I left her in their care! They don’t care about her. They want to be around just to say they did something when she finally does pass. My Mama so concerned about being over everything cause she thinks it’s going to earn her some brownie points.

They don’t even realize that Gema’s will beenmade out. Her and Papa Joe had that shit done after I went off to college. Gema’s will is in a safety deposit box at the bank. I never wanted anything from them. Never needed anything, hell, them rescuing me was enough for me. I didn’t make them leave me anything. They chose to do it because they knew their kids were fuck ups and money hungry. Yet, I’m the villain. I’m the bad guy. I’m always the one in the wrong,” I was rambling on and on, but I couldn’t stop now.

“I have no social life. No friends. No anything. My day-to-day is consumed with all things Gema. When I get a break at work, I’m scheduling doctor’s appointments or ordering prescriptions at the pharmacy. Paying bills at the house, paying Mrs. Jessie, making sure the insurance on the house is paid…

The money my Mama gets every month from the people she rented Gema house to, I don’t see any of that. She pockets it all. I pay for everything where the house is concerned. I don’t ask them for nothing. If Gema needs something, I make sure it gets done. And this is the way they treat me!”

“Your family is selfish,” Law finally spoke up.

“Selfish as hell. And on God, if I could just cut them out of our life, we would be happier. But they’re her kids and I know she loves them.”

“Cutting them off may be the solution. Especially if this is what you have to deal with all the time.”

“If only it was that easy,” I scoffed. “Uncle Meat don’t never come down. He moved away and ain’t looked back since. Willearl don’t stay sober enough. Louise hangs on to my Mama every fucking word. Betty Jo plays peace maker sometimes, but the other half is spent with her agreeing with the fuck shit. I’m really out here on my own.”

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