Page 109 of Penance

I have to be strong.

I’m going to be a mother, and I swear with everything in me, I’ll be a far more loving mother than my own ever was.

With a sigh, I step up to the bed and peel the comforter back, sliding over the silky black sheets.

I’m tired.

I’m tired a lot lately, but right now it’s just… my mind. It’s like I have reached my limit, and I can’t take anymore. I just want to feel nothing for a while.

I pull the blanket up and burrow myself beneath it.

For a long time, I lay there, and beg myself to feel nothing.

I don’t want to be sad anymore, and I don’t have the energy to be happy or excited either.

I just wannabe.

Suddenly, Draco’s arms wrap around me from behind, his body pressing against mine. I stiffen, and my heart skips a beat in my chest. I hadn’t noticed the lack of water running in the bathroom, or the sound of the bedroom creak open. I even missed the feeling of the mattress sinking down as he climbed in behind me, but there is no mistaking the scent of him.

I don’t even need to turn to see that it’s him. His breath is warm on my neck, his lips brushing against my skin in a gesture so tender that it jolts me. My breath stops, caught between the urge to lean into his warmth and the instinct to pull away.

“Draco?”

His name is a whisper that barely makes it past my lips. I can’t see his face, but I can feel the steady rhythm of his heart against my back.

I can feel his skin against me.

I can feel the warmth of his chest pressing against my back. And I can feel…

All thoughts stop.

He’s naked.

I can feel something hot and firm pressing against my lower back, and the thought makes me shiver. His arms tighten, not constricting, but firm. Is it a promise or a threat? I can’t tell.

“You’re shaking, Mercy.”

I am.

A shiver runs through me, but I don’t know if it’s because of the emotions that have grated me raw, or the anticipation.

His hold is steady, calming, but it’s still not enough to quiet the voices in my head. His lips press against the curve of my neck, a soft, lingering kiss that hits me like a sledgehammer. It’s a gentleness I didn’t expect from him, and it feels almost… odd?

I don’t know how to react or what to think.

Why is he doing this?

Why is he being so gentle?

Why am I letting him?

It doesn’t feel like Draco.

His lips brush against my ear, his voice a low rumble.

“What’s wrong, Mercy?”

What’s wrong?

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