Page 168 of Penance

I won’t let Damien be broken. I won’t let the darkness take him.

“Go play in your room for a while,” Draco says, his tone gentle but firm. “I need to talk to mommy a little, okay?”

Damien nods and hops down off his father’s knee, his bare feet slapping across the tile as he runs to do what he was told, tiny chubby fingers clutching his car and his new toy.

I lean against the sink, standing there, watching him.

He’s become everything that glistens in my world.

He’s become my rock.

“I found something in the bathroom this morning,” he says, his hands shoved into the pockets of his suit pants as he straightens, takes a step towards me.

I smile.

I already know what he’s talking about.

“When were you going to tell me?” he asks.

He looks genuinely hurt.

I force a laugh.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” I say with a shrug.

“Wasn’t the first baby enough of a surprise?”

“A surprise tome,” I say, grinning. “Not to you.”

He’s quiet, just watching me.

I see something flicker behind his eyes, and I already know what it is. It’s guilt, and it’s not new. More than once Draco has woken me up out of a dead sleep holding me, squeezing me too tight and sobbing apologies into my chest.

I forgive him every time.

“Maybe I wanted it to be a surprise for you for a change,” I say with a shrug.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and I can see it in his eyes.

He means it.

He always does.

“I know.”

I pause.

“I’m sorry, too.”

“I know.”

He closes the gap between us and pulls me into his arms. The potatoes lay half peeled and forgotten in the sink behind me. I fall against his chest and inhale the scent of him.

That scent makes me feel safe, now.

It’s become home.

“I love you,” I whisper to him.

“I love you too.”

He does this often, and every time I can’t help but wonder if it’s because he knows I need the closeness, or if he does.

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