Page 29 of Penance

Or she thinks she does.

But I know.

I know the secret that Mercy keeps, the one that eats away at her like a cancer. I know the shame that lives inside her, that has its own heartbeat.

Her pregnancy is a noose around her neck, tightening with each day that passes.

I watch Mercy’s hands flit to her stomach, almost protectively.

She’s gonna be such a good mommy.

Her parents’ exchange pleasantries with Mrs. Jenkins, oblivious to the silent battle raging in their daughter’s heart. They are blind to their daughters’ suffering, sleeping through her pain.

But Mercy… she is awake.

Her mother forces a loud, high-pitched laugh.

I wrinkle my nose.

I hate that woman.

I hate her fakeness.

Maybe I’ll kill the old bat in her sleep, and pin it on her stupid husband, sitting behind her and picking his nose in his Sunday best.

That would sure rock this town, wouldn’t it?

After a moment, Mrs. Jenkins moves on, her heels clicking against the polished hardwood as she makes her way towardsthe front of the pews. Mercy’s shoulders sag in relief, her breath escaping in a rush.

She’s relieved.

Her secret is still hers.

Hers and mine, but she doesn’t know I’m here.

My eyes are locked onto Mercy, my little lamb, as she shifts uncomfortably in her virginal white dress. Her growing belly, still small and flat, but not for long, is a mark of my ownership, a brand that she cannot hide for much longer.

Look at you, Mercy,the voice in my head sneers, my lips curling into a smirk.You are a lamb among wolves, and they will turn on you soon enough. They will eat you alive—tear out your throat—and I will stand here and watch.

Her hands flutter to her stomach again, a nervous tic that she can’t control. She thinks she’s hiding it, but I see the way her parents look at her, their brows furrowed in concern. I see the way Mrs. Jenkins eyeballs her. I see the way she leans over and whispers to her husband.

They’ll cast you out, Mercy,my inner voice purrs.They’ll see your swollen belly and turn their backs, whispering prayers and casting stones. And when they do, you’ll have no one but me, and you’ll run right into my arms. Right where you belong.

I take a step back, melting further into the shadows as her father glances my way. But he sees nothing. I’m not here. It’s a trick of the light, one more ghost that haunts this church. I’ve practiced this dance too many times to be caught by a fucking idiot like him.

“Mother, I need to use the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.”

Her mother smiles, pats her knee.

“Hurry now, dear. The service is about to start.”

I watch as Mercy gets to her feet. I watch as her hand falls to her stomach, and I see the lurch in her shoulders that tells me everything I need to know.

She did not take her medication this morning.

Stubborn girl.

I’ll have to change that.