Page 63 of Penance

Is it a bat wing? A dragon’s wing? I’m not sure, but whatever it is, I’m sure it was painful.

His breath catches, a small sound, but it echoes in the silence. He goes quiet, deathly still.

What am I doing?The thought screams through my mind.This isn’t me. This isn’t who I am.

But who am I, really?

The virtuous girl from a small town, a lamb of God that would do anything to get into the holy land? Or the pregnant sinner lying next to a man who deals in darkness, willing to do anything to keep him close?

Which one am I right now, and does it matter?

I’m already pregnant,I tell myself, my hand sliding down his shirt and landing in the middle of his chest.What’s one more sin in the grand scheme of things?

The thought is bitter, and seeped in poison, but it’s true, isn’t it?

I’ve already crossed so many lines. What’s one more?

I lean in, my heart pounding.

I can feel his heart skip against my fingers.

I lay my head on his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him.

I can feel the heat of his body, the tension in his muscles. He’s so tense.

Why?

Am I overstepping?

I prop myself up on one elbow, looking down at him.

His eyes are closed, but there’s a tension in his jaw that tells me he’s not asleep. He’s waiting, listening, a predator in the night.

“Draco,” I whisper.

His eyes open, those deep brown pools pulling me in, dragging me under like I’m caught in a current.

“Yeah?”

There’s no turning back now.

If I don’t do it now, I’ll never do it.

But why do it anyway?

Because I want to, or to make myself useful to him, so he will stay?

I can’t think about that right now, or I’ll lose my nerve.

I lean in, my heart slamming against my rib cage so hard that I’m sure he can hear it. His breath is warm on my lips. I can feel his breath on my face.

I press my mouth to his.

Soft. Tentative. Scared.

It’s a spark, but I hope it’s enough.

Draco’s response is immediate, his arms unfolding, one hand falling to my waist, and another cupping the back of my neck, pulling me closer. His kiss is firm, demanding, powerful. His tongue traces the line of my lips, and I shiver.

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