Page 71 of Penance

I didn’t know what to think or how to feel.

Maybe I should just feel nothing.

If only it were that easy.

What was even more confusing was my reaction to it.

I didn’t hate him for it, even if I knew that I should.

My body had reacted in a way I never would have expected.

I wanted him to do it again.

We reach the bottom of the stairs, and Draco pushes open the heavy door leading to the street. Heavy, bright sunlight spills in, blinding me. I hesitate, hanging back in the shadows.

What will people think if they see us together?

What will they say?

“Come on,” Draco says, reaching out and grabbing my hand. “You’re okay.”

But was I?

I didn’t feel like I was.

I take a deep breath, stepping out into the light. Draco’s fingers slip between mine.

He’s holding my hand.

Why is he doing that?

I want to pull away, to hide, but another part of me craves his touch.

The world outside is a blur of grey concrete and muted colors as I step into the parking lot beside the apartment complex. Draco’s car isn’t hard to spot. It’s a beast of a vehicle, all sleek black lines and tinted windows—a predator, like the man who drives it.

A sliver of wind slithers over my neck, and I shiver as he pulls me over to his car.

He’s… still holding my hand?

I’m so confused.

Draco opens the passenger door for me, and I slide inside, the leather seat cool against the backs of my legs, even with the thick black sweatpants I’m wearing. He finally lets go of my hand and pushes the door closed, and for only a minute, he leaves me alone with my thoughts.

Not that I have very many.

All I can do is replay the same thoughts over and over again—last night, this morning, the way he made me beg for him to stay, and then offered to come with me.

What did it mean?

He gets in beside me, and the car seems to shrink. His shoulders are so wide, and his presence is so huge. I feel tiny, sitting next to him. He’s grown so much since the days he would sit beside me in the pews, and we would giggle about the things the priest was saying.

As he turns the key, the engine roars to life, and I jump.

“You okay?” Draco asks. He reaches out, his hand covering mine, and wrapping around it.

He’s touching me again.

His touch is warm, firm, and I can’t help but stare. It’s so different. His tattoos stand out, so dark compared to my pale skin.

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