Page 74 of Penance

A baby.

My baby.

Thereisa baby inside me.

I gasp.

I can’t tear my eyes away from the screen.

That’s ababy.

It’s tiny, and looks a little like a jelly bean, but there’s no denying it now.

Tears well up in my eyes, and the image on the screen twists and blurs. I blink them away, desperate to keep watching, to memorize every detail.

I don’t want to look away.

I don’t want to miss this.

I’m so scared, but I’m so happy.

Can you feel both at the same time?

This is real.

This is happening.

No matter how much I want to deny it, to hide from it, the truth is right there on the screen.

The nurse smiles, her voice a distant murmur as she explains what I’m seeing. It’s like the teachers on Charlie Brown. It all just sounds like background noise and weird, untuned instruments.

Draco’s presence hovers at the edge of the room, a dark shadow looming over me, and when he reaches out and puts a hand on my shoulder, I startle.

Friend, he said.

But what does that mean?

The room is a blur of muted colors and sterile scents as the screen goes black. The sound of her snapping off her gloves brings me back to reality with a jerk.

“Based on the measurements, you’re around eleven weeks along. You most likely conceived sometime this summer, early August maybe. So that puts your due date at around February 14th. Valentine’s day baby!” She smiles, handing me a strip of glossy black-and-white images. “Here are your ultrasound pictures, Mom.”

Mom?

Mom?

I stare at the prints, my fingers trembling as I trace the tiny shadow in the static.

Eleven weeks.

That’s… almost three months?

“Would you like to schedule your next appointment?” The nurse asks.

I nod, my voice lodged in my throat.

She rattles off a date and time, jotting it down on a small reminder card.

The next thing I know, we’re stepping out of the office.

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