Page 13 of Break

Alex sighs and nods, softly smiling at me. “Good. Well, maybe it’s a good thing that they’re out of our hair. We can focus on building our own family.”

I snort and shake my head. “Not going to happen. No kids for me. I thought we talked about this months ago? You were on the same page. You hated how you were raised, surrounded by nannies, a driver, chefs. You don’t even like children.”

She giggles and slides her hands up my chest. “Maybe after we’re married we can talk about it again... We have time.”

I roll my eyes and move to stand, sliding her down my body. I watch as the robe begins to part over her plump breasts and have to hold myself back from not tossing her onto the bed to attack her. That’s one way to stop the mind-numbing conversation.

“Nah. I’ve always known I don’t want kids. Ever. After the girls head off to college I’m planning on downsizing anyway. I don’t need to stay in a massive house.”

She frowns at me, stepping back. She crosses her arms over her chest and shakes her head as she closes her robe back up and tightens the strings. “But a big house is better. The parties, all of the guests… What if an accident happens and I get pregnant? You’re also on a hockey team, James. Where will you host anyone in a tiny house”

I chuckle and shove my hands in my pockets, leaning back on my heels. “Not going to happen. We’ll use non-latex condoms. I’m serious, Alex. I’ll never want children. I don’t want to be a dad.”

I lean down to kiss her cheek and move to leave. Maybe she needs to think this over. Maybe I need to do research on latex-free condoms regardless, not that I don’t trust her. She said she had an implant put in this morning. But, still… You can never be too safe.

Chapter 4

Marie

___________

The girls have been with me for a few days now. We watched the hockey games from home, all three of us at the edge of our seats. I miss watching them in person. The atmosphere, the cold, frigid air. The screams and yells. Feeling the vibration through the seats when someone is slammed into the walls, hell, even the lights.

James didn’t look like himself out on the ice. He seemed distracted.

The girls snuck over to the house today during James’s practice time so that they could pack more of their things for the next week while he’s out of the state at away games. I feel awful, as if I’m uprooting them from their lives. But they offered, practically begged, to stay here.

They told me all about their meeting withAlexin more detail.How she demanded changes from the moment she stepped into the foyer. How there’s not enough room for her cars, not enough storage or racks in the walk-in closet. How sheneeds this, needs that. She wants a larger home. She needs a bigger yard.

She even asked the girls how long it would be before they graduated or got their own place. With James sitting right there, him not saying a damn word.

I just gaped at the girls and blinked back tears. You would think that he would put them first. He always has since the moment they were born.

Especially after what we went through as kids. The abandonment, neglect. Fucking shit, we starved. Watched our parents drink and drug themselves into stupors for days, weeks, on end.

I glare at the clock, frowning at the time. It’s four in the morning, but at least it’s Sunday. I’m not working or on-call this weekend, and don’t start at the rink with Dr. Patterson for another few weeks anyway. He told me to hold off until I saw my doctor, or until I’m ready.

He’s so adamant about me staying and working with him that I don’t have the heart to say no.

Not looking forward to any of that, though. Hopefully he can go on his own during away games, because there’s no way I’m leaving the girls here on their own and definitely not with Alex.

I roll over and close my eyes, begging my body for more sleep.

The nausea has been kicking my ass this week and having to hide it from the girls has been a nightmare. They think my diet changes are just another one of my cycles of nonsense I go through a few times a year.

They definitely asked why I’m not drinking, though, and why I’m pale. More pale than I usually am. Why I’m nibbling on crackers and sipping on ginger ale.

I’ll tell them eventually. Not who the father is, but… hmm. Maybe after the first appointment in a few weeks. I want to make sure everything is okay first.

My stomach gurgles and I groan as I slowly sit up in bed, heading out to the kitchen for a glass of water and some fruit to snack on. Crackers just don’t sound as good as juicy, sweet strawberries.

Whatever, four AM isn’t too bad of an hour to wake up, I guess. I stock up on some strawberries and sit in the living room, staring down at my phone.

Why am I feeling guilty about ghosting James? He’s been amazing for the past twenty-five plus years. I just don’t know what to do. He would never forgive me for ‘forcing’ him to be a father. He doesn’t even remember our night together as is, and now he’s in a relationship… a serious one at that.

Asking her to move in and all.

Are we so far removed from our friendship that he didn’t even tell me about her? I frown as I scroll through my notifications to find that he’s still calling and texting. Begging for answers, wanting to fix what happened. Yeah, not going to happen, Bucko. Not yet.

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