Page 2 of Break

I’ve even dated a few of his friends. Three to be exact. Logan, Landon, and Nolan. We’re all just best friends now, but that’s when I knew that he never saw me as an attractive woman, or someone he would date. He would just clap his friends on the back and tell them to treat me right or he would kick their asses. Not that we were ever in serious relationships. Mostly having fun… okay, mostly sex.

Maybe he just sees me as more of a live-in nanny. A built in best friend since we were basically born. Someone that he’s stuck with, maybe?

Of course, I make a lot more than a nanny as a physician assistant, or PA... James even keeps a separate bank account with my name on it for anything the girls or I need, so it’s not like I’m hurting for money. Only four more years until I get my trust fund anyway. If there’s even any money left in the trust. I have no idea what my parents touched before and after my last grandparent passed away.

Or if they were even allowed to. I really need to find the number for that lawyer. Maybe there are other ways for me to get it sooner. Prove I am not like my parents. Oh… and you know, I’m fucking pregnant and have a while baby to raise now.

Neither of us have any student loans, James paid those all off after he signed on the dotted line with the NHL, without me asking. Then there are the sponsorships, endorsements, his NHL paycheck, he will be fine, he can definitely afford some help with the girls if I can’t help.

He’s never going to hurt for money. But I sure as hell might.

What if the girls want to live with me? I sigh as I turn around and sit down on my bed. The clothes I had piling up all over the place fall off around me and I don’t even care. Let them rain down. I want to scream, I want to cry. I don’t even know what I actually want right now.

I’m scared, mad, terrified.

What if he cuts me off completely and runs away? Loses his life-long dreams?

He can’t know about the baby. Ever. Oh my god, what do I do?

I sigh out loud and slowly lay my shaking hand over my lower stomach. I flinch when someone bangs on my door.

“Marie! Lyss wants to drive, is that okay?”

I blow out a slow breath and open up the bedroom door with a fake smile. “Of course. Take my car, I’ll take an Uber to the office. Text me when you get to school, please.”

Caroline nods and throws her arms around my shoulders. I press my lips together as hard as I can to keep them from trembling. Oh this sweet girl, I love her so much. “We will! Love you!” She spins around and races to the stairs and calls out excitedly to her sister that they’re good to go. I chuckle and shake my head.

They both look so much like their brother that it’s scary, especially as they grow taller and older. Several inches taller than me already. They both have light blonde hair, bright blue eyes. They’re all so tall, the three of them, and their golden skin makes them look like gods instead of mere mortals.

Me? I’m plain Jane, all the way. Brown hair, brown eyes, and pale skin. Freckles from my head to my toes. I’m short, curvy, and just… plain.

Nothing like the little puck bunnies that chase the boys around in and out of the rink. The girls that James laps up like ice cold water on a blazing hot day in Phoenix, Arizona.

As soon as I hear the garage door open and my car starting up, I drop to my knees and cry.

We fucked everything up, didn’t we?

___________

“Marie! Come see me after Mr. Parker’s appointment tonight,” Dr. Patterson calls out from his office and I freeze in the hall.

“Sure.” I croak back and step into my office. Shit, does he know something’s wrong with me already? I barely said two words to my boss today. That man must have a sixth sense.

I’m running on fumes all day. I pull up the files for the rest of the day and furrow my brows when I see the emails from Dr. Patterson about moving me to the rink with him during home games. He even wants me traveling with the team for the away games… What? What happened to Annika? She’s the one that focused on the team, I’m happy here in the clinic.

Sure, the majority of our patients are from the Mavericks, but we still see normal guys, along with the local NFL team, thecollege athletes, hell, even cheerleaders. With a smaller practice, he can’t really open up outside of that, and he’s been cutting back on ‘normal’ people.

I grab my tablet and see that James has an appointment today. My stomach drops when I find he’s on my list of patients… Dr. Patterson is too overbooked for me to switch anything around. Fuck. There’s no way I can look him in the eyes any time soon.

Why today of all days? He couldn’t wait to come in next year?

Ever since that night a few weeks ago at Logan and Bianca’s engagement party, I just assumed he was ignoring the night we had together, too afraid to change our relationship, or lack thereof.

But I have an inkling he honest to fuck doesn’t remember. How do I even bring that up to him? ‘Hey, remember when we were wasted and drank too much in the hotel bar… when you tossed me around your room like a rag doll and fucked me until I felt like I was ascending into goddesshood? Well… Good job knocking me up while on birth control. Congratulations, daddy.’

I shake my head and set aside the tablet as I head off to the exam rooms to ready them for the next patients. I just need to get my head in the game and focus on anything, everything else. The smell of the antiseptic, the crinkling of the paper as I drag it along the exam table. The loud sinks as I wash my hands. The boisterous laughter coming from the waiting room.

Time flies as I try to put everything out of my mind. The pregnancy, James, and now being moved to the rink. I don’t think I can even skate while pregnant, but I’m going to doit anyway. I need the money, especially now. What else am I supposed to do? Tell my boss that I’m knocked up and force him to keep me here in the clinic when something obviously happened to Annika?

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