Page 41 of Break

“Okay…” The guy looks between us and races off to the back where he can scan everything else I picked out.

“All right girls. What else do I need?”

We follow them around for what feels like hours. We have four carts filled by the end.

Diapers, wipes, clothes, blankets, burp cloths, bedding. Then the toys, baby shampoo, wash, and lotion… towels, swings, bottles, laundry detergent, and a breast pump.

Along with all of the furniture and everything else we picked, I’m afraid to see the total.

James moves me over to a bench in the front of the store and tells me to ‘stay’.

I glare at him and dig through my purse pulling out the gift card for this store and try to hand it to him.

He sends me a look, shaking his head. “Those for you, when you come shopping on your own or order online. You can stock up in diapers and wipes, get some more clothes, okay? Today I’ll cover everything. You deserve it.” He stalks off before I can reply and I watch him leave, my mouth agape.

I purse my lips as I recline back on the metal bench and shake my head to myself. I know that the girls are excited to be shopping, basically without a limit, but the guilt is starting to eat me alive.

Would he still be paying for all of this, trying so hard to get me to talk to him, if he knew the babies are his?

After we get home, we let the girls shove everything at the back of the living room, taking everything out of the nurseries from the party a few weeks ago and organizing it to be split up for baby boy or baby girl. James said he had to get going, so the girls told him to come back over in the morning with paint supplies along with the paint colors they chose. Then he left, heading back home to his girlfriend.

I still feel like I’m living an alternate reality.

How can he be so different when the four of us are alone, but a completely different man around Alex?

Or for her.

Everything is making my head spin, it’s too much too soon. I was prepared to do everything on my own, now here he is, swooping in to save the day, just like always. I miss him. I miss my best friend, my other half.

The man I’ve always and will always love.

I just feel like these past few weeks have been too good to be true. Since the gender reveal party, I’ve been answering his calls and texts.

He tells me all about his games that I haven’t made it to. I tell him all about the pregnancy, how I’m feeling and what shows I’ve been watching without him.

The sound and cadence of his voice usually lulls me to sleep when he calls at night. Or even early in the afternoon. Lately I can fall asleep at the drop of a dime.

I feel like I’m getting my hopes up that everything can go back to ‘normal’, yet, Alex is still in his life, and the girls and I are still here off of Maple Dr.

Maybe we just need to go no contact again for good. I’m sick of my heart feeling shattered.

Chapter 10

James

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Even while we’re supposed to be having some downtime, I spend most of the Christmas break at the rink, practicing and working out in the gym. It’s a good thing that half of the team had the same idea so I’m not just moping out on the ice on my own.

As captain, I should be telling their asses to go home and spend time with their families.

But the selfish part of me loves that they’re around me.

We’re all suited up, playing a quick game against each other. I’m switching between right and left winger since we’re down a few guys, the smart ones that are actually home with their families.

The puck hits the ice and I wait for Landon to take possession while Logan is checking me into the wall. I grunt with the impact and skate around, chasing after them. I wouldn’t dothis in a real game, but that was a low blow from one of my own men, even if we’re on opposite sides for this practice.

I slide on the ice, snow falling in a curtain around Logan and Landon and they both glare at me when I steal the puck and slap it into the net over Nolan’s head.

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