Page 50 of Break

Am I attracted to her? Hell yes.

Do I fantasize and dream about her? Of course. More than I should. Sexual, naked, hot, sweaty dreams.

Would I ever do something to fuck up our friendship or what we have going on while we ‘co-parent’ Alyssa and Caroline? Fuck. No.

And that’s why I never made a move. We’ve been sleeping in each other’s beds since we were babies. Finishing each other’s sentences, food, and drinks. Watching the same TV shows and movies, and she loves hockey almost as much as me.

I will never find a woman like her, but I’m okay with that, knowing that she will be in my life until I take my last breath. I just have to deal with never being able to be in love with her.

And to never hurt her again, or break her trust. I am so fucking pissed that I even started dating Alex in the first place.

I stalk to the guest bedroom and get ready for practice, racing out the door before I’m late. I’m never fucking late.

I make it to the locker room with five minutes to spare, tossing shit around as I gear up and tie up my skates as fast as I can. At least I don’t trip.

By the time I make it to the ice, Coach Williams is glaring at me as I rush over to the lineup.

“Take it from the top, then you’re all skating laps until James collapses.” He smirks at me and blows the whistle, waiting for us to get in formation. I grimace at the guys and try to apologize, but the puck is dropped and we begin.

After the break, I feel unprepared for this shit. I was doing so well before the wedding. I dropped the ball while I helped out with Marie, too terrified to let her out of my sight.

If it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t have staples holding her damn scalp together.

After a few practice games, we begin our laps.

My salty, warm sweat is dripping into my eyes by the time I slide into the center on my knees and groan. I touch my forehead to the ice and let the cold seep into my pores after tossing off my helmet.

Coach Williams chuckles from beside me and blows the whistle for the guys to circle around. I glance around and notice only Blake is still standing, still skating around like the show pony he is. He wiggles his fingers at me and shakes his ass before spinning around like an asshole ballerina on ice.

“All right, bring it in, you jackass. I want you all back here on the ice at nine AM tomorrow. It’s my anniversary tonight and I’m not rolling out of bed at six AM. Take it easy tonight, boys. We have a long few weeks ahead of us. We’re going to make it to the playoffs this year, and we need to bring home that fucking cup, am I clear?”

We all groan and nod, I’m still out of breath, cursing his damn name.

“Go shower, you all stink.” He glides off the ice and heads to his office. I feel like my legs aren’t going to move.

“Fucking hell, how long were we skating for today?” Nolan groans from beside me and I shrug as I try to stand on my shaking legs without slipping and falling onto my ass.

“Feels like twelve hours to me,” I huff as we head over to the locker room. “How was Marie this morning?”

Nolan sighs as he removes his helmet and opens up the doors to the locker room. “She seemed good. She’s itching toremove the staples, I double checked they were still in. Knowing her she will remove them herself before they’re ready to come out. Landon said he didn’t hear a peep from her last night, though, so at least she’s sleeping. Are you staying with her tonight?”

I chuckle and shake my head as I drop my gear in front of my locker. “Yeah, I’ll head over there after picking up something for dinner. I’ll have the girls check on the staples twice a day so we don’t forget. I think she only needs them in for another five days anyway.”

He nods and we head to the showers. I groan as the hot water collides against my skin. Leaning back against the cold tile walls, I let the hot water and steam soak into my sore, tense muscles.

“I need a fucking massage.”

Landon chuckles from a few shower heads away. “Now that you’re back in the single’s club... Maybe you can find a bunny to make your body feel good.”

I shake my head as I finish up and step out of the steamy room. “Nah. I’m done for a long fucking while, man. My fist is way better than another psycho chick.”

I dry off and head to my locker, pulling on a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I toss my t-shirt into my bag to take back home and sit on the bench to clean and scrub my gear. I usually take it home with me, but since I’m staying in a guest room at Nolan’s, I really don’t want to deal with it. And I’m sure as hell not dragging my shit into Marie’s house.

I pack up after I hang everything up, heading straight to my truck. Marie should be heading over to her house by now, soI stop on the way for some groceries before I head over to her place.

The guards at the gate know my truck and my face by now, they wave me on by just like they did to Nolan on the first day I came over here. It’s all still so surreal.

I can’t believe I almost fucked up everything over a woman. A fucking horrible, soul-sucking demon of a woman.

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