Page 57 of Break

Nolan and Landon share another look and glance over at me, slowly blinking. They’re so confused. “So we can’t touch your boobies anymore? Damn.” Nolan winks at me and clears his throat and glances away, his face seeming to become more solemn by the second. “I don’t know how you really feel, man. But you really have to understand what you’re getting into. She’s your best friend since you guys were basically fucking born. She helped raise your sisters, moved across the country for you… and now she’s pregnant. You can’t fuck with her feelings. You can’t just have a fling with her, not with those types of life changes,and with you getting… involved. Not with how much you both have always loved each other. Even if it wasn’t always a romantic love…”

Landon nods and leans forward to grab a handful of my green beans.

James just deflates and hums. “This is something that Marie and I will talk about… later. The smoker is probably heated enough. Let’s go cook up the rest of dinner. Let Marie relax and nibble on her appetizers.” He winks at me and the three men step out onto the back deck, quickly slamming the door so that the frigid air doesn’t seep into my warm house. Or so they can have a man talk.

Why did Nolan look so sad?

He never told me how he felt, if he ever felt anything. Maybe he’s just upset that he can't touch my boobs again.

I’m still a little lost, so confused. But also helpful. Can James really be serious? Why now?

I don’t feel like I did anything wrong. I have clothes on, I’m single. I don’t know why it made him mad about them touching me.

James has never made an actual move before, aside from today or that night in August when we were both a million sheets to the wind. And he doesn’t even remember that.

I glance over to them through the glass doors and just blink. Is this something James would actually pursue? He just got out of an insane relationship. He even said before we fucked that we would just help each other out, basically until I had the babies. What the hell changed in just a handful of hours?

What he said was true, I’m probably going to write off all men, aside from him apparently. When his body touches mine, I feel like every nerve ending is exploding. Like I’m burning from the inside out.

It’s always been him, but he’s never seen me in that way, right? So why is he being so attached and growly today? Why is he making a point to Landon and Nolan that he wants me? Does he just not want to share my body with anyone else during this fling? Is that all this is to him?

Shit, I’m not sure if I can handle losing him all over again. Sure, he’s sleeping on my couch and fucked me within an inch of my life today. He mentioned that he’s been reading baby books, reading up on pregnancy and somehow read an article on sex… But is that enough for him to know he truly wants to be with me?

Alex has probably fucked him up for life, and not in a good way. When he finds out the truth… that’ll destroy anything he’s ever felt for me. I just know it. I can’t get my hopes up.

I can’t lose him, but I also can’t lead him on. If these babies come out looking anything like him, Alyssa, or Caroline, he’s going to figure it out eventually. He’s not a stupid man.

I shake my hands out before I shove more food in my mouth, slowly chewing as I mull this all over.

My phone starts to vibrate beside me on the couch. Another unknown number. Shocker. I sigh as I answer it, but as well see what the hell they want before I change my number again.

“Hello?”

“May I speak to Ms. Marie Edwards?”

I clear my throat and frown. “This is her.”

“Good afternoon, Ms. Edwards. My name is Lauren Garcia from the Montgomery-Carver Group. We represent the trust that was put in place by your grandfather, Bernard Edwards.”

“Yes…”

“Right… Well we’ve been trying to get in touch with you, Ms. Edwards, for quite a while. We’ve received the death certificates of Mr. Rolland Edwards and Mrs. Melissa Vance-Edwards. The Will states that the trust entirely goes to Ms. Marie Edwards on her thirtieth birthday, or, after she’s the sole living relative of the estate. Ma’am. I’m sorry for your loss, but we have a lot of paperwork to complete. I can travel to you, wherever you are. We received these certificates a year ago and your parents have been gone for a few years now...”

I’m blinking at the wall and not sure what to even… what? How did I not know that my parents were dead? “I’m sorry, this is a lot. Can you come to Minnesota?”

“Yes ma’am. I suggest hiring your own lawyer to sit with us during a meeting. Technically we’re the estate’s lawyers, but I wouldn’t mind also representing you if need be.”

I shrug, as if she can see me. “Ah okay… When can you get here? I’m pregnant and still working quite a bit. I also take care of two teenagers.”

She chuckles, “Not to worry, Ms. Edwards. I can fly out as early as tomorrow.” I riddle off my address and make sure to add her personal phone number. I drop my phone onto my lap and let the tears fall.

Wow. I just. Wow.

I knew my parents wouldn’t live for much longer after we left, not with cocaine and alcohol, or whatever shit they’ve beengetting into over the years… I haven’t seen them in almost ten years, and now? Never again. Never will they promise to get clean or stop drinking. It was all lies so that I would give them money to support their habits, wasn’t it?

I stopped doing any of that when we left California. One, I didn’t really have any money to give, and two, what was the point?

I couldn’t in good conscience let them kill themselves with the money I handed them. It never went to bills like they promised. I don’t think they ever hugged, kissed, or loved me, so why am I sad?

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