Page 14 of Balance

She’s not ignoring my girls at all. She’s been a god-send, and it makes me feel terrible for the other nannies that I basically shoved back through the door. Maybe they were just bad at interviewing?

Lindahl’s is all taken care of, though. Simple enough to pay them off and sign some forms that I’ll never be able to hire nannies through their services again, but I also hadthemsign forms to not take it out on Lillian, and for them to sign another NDA for never giving out any information about Lillian to other companies if she moves on from this job, and to not go after her. Ever.

The owner, Margaret, happily signed it and basically drooled at the check my lawyer handed over to her.

Shocking. It’s always about money.

Speaking of money, I’m taking the girls out shopping today, finally getting a reprieve from practice.

Avery needs some school supplies and the girls are growing like weeds. Plus, we need to start stocking up on winter clothes. I have no idea how to shop for girls, their mother always handed it, or at least paid someone else to.

Luckily I begged Lillian to tag along. I have the envelope in my hand that has all of her bank documents and cards in it. Maybe she can shop for herself. Her clothes are decent enough. Sort of. She has professional feminine suits and dresses that I’m sure she wore when she was either with her ex or teaching. But mostly she’s worn jean shorts, plain t-shirts, and strange pajamas to bed.

She deserves to take care of herself for once. I almost asked her about paying off her debts for her, but I’m terrified of pushing the poor girl too far and having her go into a full-blown panic attack. She has a phone and a car, and doesn’t seem to be getting a million calls a day from bill collectors, so I’m sure she’s on top of her payments anyway.

I’m just not used to women not asking anything from me. She didn’t even want me to pay her more for her doing so much around the house. The house wasn’t even this clean and organized when I had a full staff here.

It’s mind boggling, but nice. Not having to worry about anything except eating my dinner, talking with my girls, and cuddling them before Lillian whisks them off to their bedrooms to bathe, brush their teeth, and get into bed.

I feel like shit that I can’t even help with that, but she was right. I travel too much to really mess up their routine for when I’m not here.

I blow out a slow breath and tap the thick envelope against my palm. Better now than later, she probably needs warmer clothes, too. It doesn’t snow where she’s from.

Fuck it. I step out of my office and listen to figure out where they are. I find all four of them in the playroom watching a movie, waiting patiently to leave the house. It would have taken me hours to get the four of us ready to go, then the second we leave the house they would tell me they’re hungry, or have to pee, or need water.

“Hey, your daddy looks ready to go. Everyone head to the restroom to potty and wash hands. Tilly… come with me sweetheart. Let’s go sit on the potty for a few minutes.”

My youngest daughter pouts but nods, slowly lifting her hand to Lillian’s to hold. The four of them leave the room, leaving me leaning against the wall feeling… odd. She’s doing everything and I’m not sure how it makes me feel.

I mean, it’s smart because pre-season starts soon. I’ll be gone longer during the day, home too late, jetting around the continent.

I scrub a hand down my face and shake my head at myself. I need to get a hold of these emotions before I get too heated and fire Lillian, leaving me fucked harder than I’ve ever been.

“Daddy! We’re ready to go!” Nessa calls out and I stalk out of the playroom, finding them waiting for me down the hall to head to the garage.

“I’m coming,” I lean down and kiss her head, breathing in the sweet scent from her favorite shampoo. I hug Avery and kiss Tilly’s head too on the way, glancing up to see Lillian watch with tears in her eyes. I smile at her and we buckle up the girls before getting into the front seats. “So, I was thinking we could head down to the mall… And before I forget, here’s your bank information and cards. None of it is connected to me at all, I promise.

“My lawyer used your social, birth date, and scanned driver’s license to open it up for you from all of the paperwork from Lindahl’s and the contract you signed.”

She glances out the window and shakily nods, holding her hand out for the envelope. “Thanks,” she croaks and she’s silent as I drive through the gates to head towards the shopping center.

I chew on my inner cheek and keep my worries to myself. Maybe over time she will open up and tell me what the hell happened to her.

“Tilly, did you use the potty?” I ask as I stare into the rearview mirror.

She sighs at me and shakes her head. “It’s scary.” That brings a chuckle out of Lillian. I smirk as I glance over at her and see her smiling, twisting in her seat to talk to the girls.

My body relaxes as I listen to them all converse, about everything and anything. What Avery is looking forward to for school next week, Nessa saying she hates school and doesn’t want to go back to daycare, and Tilly just babbling, talking about the birds and trees she sees out her window.

It finally feels like I’m a part of a family, which scares the shit out of me, since it’s Lillian bringing us closer together, making my life four hundred times easier. And she’s only been here for a week. She’s a stranger.

I glance over at her, seeing the edge of her plump ass, her wide hips, and her breasts and curves as she’s still twisted around in her seat. I shouldn’t be attracted to the young woman, but she’s been driving me insane.

She’s intelligent, kind… the girls absolutely adore her. She’s witty and gorgeous. And doesn’t give a shit about money or status. She hasn’t once asked me anything about my career, how much I make. Nothing at all.

She doesn’t send me coy glances or try to knock on my door at night or spend any time with me that I don’t initiate first.

That’s what I was honestly most worried about. There’s no way I’m even close to ready to even touch another woman any time soon.

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