Page 3 of Balance

I sit down at one of the metal tables under a tall tree in the shade and place the bags of food on top, hoping it’ll all stay warm for when they’re ready to fill their bellies. Then again, the younger two eat old food off the ground, so I don’t think cold fast food would deter them.

I watch them out of the corner of my eye as I pull out my phone and begin to search for nanny services. All of the nannies are certified in a plethora of shit. CPR, first aid, and homeschooling. Even cooking, cleaning, and discipline. I’ll still need to hire a new housekeeper, but it would be nice to not have to worry about my kids not eating while I’m at practice or at games.

I make an account and enter all of my information. Grabbing my wallet out of my back pocket to scan in my driver’s license, typing up the girl’s ages and what I’m looking for. At least there’s an option for live-in nannies. Do I need something like that?

It might be smarter with my schedule.

I add my credit card for the background checks and it says to wait a few days for a phone call.

Hopefully they have lawyers and NDAs so that I don’t have a house full of puck bunnies stoked about getting my address, with their phones in hand to take photos of my kids and me for their social media accounts. Something to talk about when they call.

“Daddy! Can we eat?” Nessa pokes my side and I set my phone down on the table and look down at her.

“Yep. Let me have Avery run to the car and grab the wipes and hand sanitizer.” I wince and call out for my eldest daughter and toss her my keys.

All three of them dig into their meals after I get their hands and faces clean. Watching them talk to each other, the smiles on their red, splotchy faces from exertion. I need to do better for them.

I close my eyes and breathe out slowly, I also need to get back to the rink. The gym and the ice are going to kick my ass in two weeks if I don’t get my ass in gear.

Tilly takes a bite out of each of her four nuggets and says she’s done. Jumping down from the table, she smiles at me and toddles off to the swings and points at it.

I cover up her food and chase after her, laughing when she screams and runs in circles around the jungle gym. Maybe we can come here every day and I can get in some cardio.

Or, I can finally turn my basement into a gym now that Brittany isn’t in the house to tell me not to. She wanted me to work out with my friends, my team. Apparently she did everything to keep me out of the house for her own selfish, whoring bullshit. I should have known.

I should have put it together years ago that she never loved me.

I scoop Tilly up and toss her in the air, listening to her giggling so hard that she’s snorting and screaming. Tears are streaming from her bright blue eyes. I finally set her down in one of the baby swings and start pushing her.

“Not high, daddy.”

I nod and move around so that she can see me. Her eyes are so bright and wide, open and happy. Tilly [2]and Nessa have Brittany’s bright blonde, curly hair, but only Tilly has her mother’s eyes.

Avery is my little clone. She has my light brown straight hair and hazel eyes.

I smile. Everything will turn out okay. This is for the best.

Chapter 2

Lillian

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Iglare at my camera at the top of my laptop, rolling my eyes at my best friend.

“I still can’t believe you moved all the way to bumfuck Minnesota! You could have just come to Las Vegas and moved in with me. I could have gotten you a job.” She blinks her wide green[3] eyes at me and pouts her plump lips.

“As a dancer? Come the fuck on. You know better than I do that I have no rhythm. I don’t have the body for that shit, either. I’m not even coordinated! And the second someone touched me inappropriately I probably would have stabbed them… then I would have been arrested!”

She rolls her eyes and leans back against her headboard. She’s ready to head out to the club she works at tonight. Her hair is in two long braids, her see-through black, glittering bikini is doing nothing to support her massive breasts either. Gosh I’m so jealous of her body.

If I was truly a jealous person, I would be so envious of Mackenzie, but I think I’m at the point in my life now that I’m just done.

I was an elementary school teacher up until six months ago when I was fired, by my own boyfriend who only canned me because I caught him cheating on me. When I told him I was moving out, leaving his pathetic ass, he fired me. I just. I still don’t understand it, even all these months later.

Don’t date your bosses, kids.

“You would have been fine. You have an amazing body. So you have scars, so what? Most of us do. I have stretch marks on my boobs, my thighs, my ass and my stomach. Boohoo. I still make money. Still fuck who I want, when I want.”

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