Page 37 of Balance

Maybe I should have had a more thorough look into her background before hiring her. But I was desperate and Lindahl’s Nannies promised and swore up and down they run the most extensive background checks.

And after getting to know her, watching her with my girls… seeing how she broke when her foster mother passed away, basically in her own arms, just to wake up the next day and be a fantastic nanny and mother figure to my girls.

I might be overreacting. Maybe shecan’tget pregnant and I’m freaking the fuck out over nothing. Or maybe she doesn’t want her own children. I know plenty of people that love kids and do not want them.

I park at the arena and nod to the guards on my way in, heading straight to the gym. I set up my phone to the Bluetooth speaker and blast music as I start warming up on the treadmill. I shove everything out of my mind and focus on working out for as long and as hard as I can.

We have a home game tomorrow night, then we’re leaving the next day for Canada. I wipe my face off with my rag after I finish my workout and I sit beside the mirrors as I cool down and drink water.

My phone starts going off and I stalk over to it, annoyed that it paused the song. It’s Andy.

“Hello?”

“Hey, man. Found her, she’s in rehab out in Malibu, California. Her parents are paying for it and apparently it’s a twelve-month program for mental health, mostly depression and anxiety. I can dig deeper into the medical records if you want, but I wanted your opinion.”

My brows furrow and I sit back down on the ground shaking my head. What the fuck? “Is there a way to be informed when she’s checked out? I… I have no idea what this is about. She’s never pursued help before.”

He sighs. “It could be many things. Maybe she went to her parents and they noticed how strung out and desperate she was, for money, for fame… for whatever and pushed her to take care of herself before she resorts to anything more dangerous than crazy men who steal your money, clothes, and jewelry. I’ll send someone out there to keep an eye on her. Want me to check into her parents?”

“No. I hope that this is really her turning her life around. I want her to be around the girls, I want the girls to know her. I’m proud of her if this is really what she wants to do and isn’t doing it to reap any rewards or money from me.”

“I’ll pull the medical files. Malek says he can hack into their systems easily. Might help ease your mind to know what the doctors are putting into her notes… and with a swanky place like that, you know they don’t take bribes.”

I hum and close my eyes. “All right…”

“Good. Any news on the Lillian front? I haven’t heard anything from her yet.”

I wince and bite my bottom lip, “No… She’s not ready to read it yet, but I have a request for Malek. Can we pull her medical records? We had a… misunderstanding last night. Andsomething is troubling me. We… you know, and I didn’t use a condom.”

He groans out loud and I just know he wants to stab me. “What the fuck, Morgan? Are you fucking stupid? How much do you even know about this woman?”

I run my fingers through my sweaty hair and my shoulders tense. “A lot more than you think. She’s been living under my roof and basically raising my kids for months. Anyway, when I brought it up after we finished, she told me not to worry about it and she won’t get pregnant… Nothing about birth control. And she did mention a few times now that she’s on hormones.”

He chuckles sarcastically, “And what if they’re fertility drugs or something? Again… How much do you really know about her?”

“I know a lot about her very distant past… and less distant. Not much about college and after, except what degrees she has, where she worked. Then she had a boyfriend for a few years… I just… I know the background checks were cleared through Lindahl’s. But maybe her medical history will help. I love my girls, but fuck, I’m almost thirty-nine. I barely have enough time with the three kids I have now, I don’t want more. Even if she’s fucking gorgeous, an incredible caretaker, and brilliant as hell…”

Andy grunts. “Whatever, man. I’ll call Malek.” He hangs up on me and I hang my head down. I know I just made a fucking monumental mistake, but I need to know.

I just hope she doesn’t hate me.

___________

I don’t want to go home. Williams had us running drills and practicing until my legs felt like they’re going to buckle under me.

Logan also slammed me so hard into the damn glass that I thought I was going to see stars for a year.

Dr. Patterson checked me out and sent me back out on the ice with a slap on the back, this is when I miss Marie being here. She would have let me sit out for fifteen minutes and given me ice and water and had a conversation with me. Hopefully she’s back soon.

Well, anyone is better than Annika. I guess Dr. Patterson opened up a second location, moved her there, and then took over the rink with Marie and hired other doctors to run the main office.

I don’t get the reason, but he seems happy. I was here when he worked here before he opened up his office. I know that he hated it and missed being here… But, fucking Annika. If I think Patterson is an impersonal dick, she’s fifty times worse. I think she just hates men in general. She’s always scoffing and rolling her eyes at us, even when we have broken bones, concussions, or passed out.

Good riddance.

Nolan has apparently set the date for our cookout for next weekend, since we will be home. I’m sitting in my car staring out at the empty lot. I’m just not ready to go home. But I also don’t want to go out or numb my mind with alcohol.

Lillian has tried to call and text a few times, letting me know that her friend is there. That she’s worried about me, she wants to talk.

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