Page 44 of Balance

Or come to me.

It just makes me feel like shit that they’re more taken with her than me, but she’s the one with them 24/7. She’s soft, kind, and loves with her whole heart and soul.

They probably don’t trust me, and that’s the main reason I’m obviously out on the back burner with my own kids. Not that I blame them. I can’t. They’re safe. Happy. Excelling, and I have Lillian to thank for that.

We made small talk on the way home. Apparently Nolan is going to host our Thanksgiving this year for the teammates that are home for the holiday and don’t have any plans. Families and children are welcome, should be fun. He has a jacuzzi in his backyard, the kids will love that.

And seeing Lillian in a bikini? Fuck. I bite my lip and try to imagine her in a tiny black number, or maybe I’ll shove her into a one piece so that I don’t stare at her and try to drag her into one of Nolan’s guest rooms.

We finally touch down at 1:30 and we all shuffle onto the bus to take us back to the arena to grab our cars.

“What are your plans tonight?” Landon asks as we collapse down onto our seats on the bus.

I frown. “Not sure. I know that Lillian’s making dinner. What’s up?”

He grunts. “No reason, I just didn’t want to go home yet. I’ll ask Nolan.” He winks at me and I pull up the thread of messages between Lillian and me.

Lillian:Marie’s here. Met the babies… oh. My. Goodness. I’m in love! I’m walking all of the kids to the park. I probably should be back by the time you’re home. If not, Marie and Makenzie are in her room. Marie is super sweet! We exchanged numbers and she wants to start getting out of her house more, I hope that’s okay that I told her to come over whenever she wants.

Me:They are adorable. I haven’t seen them in a while… James sends us pictures all the time, though. And sounds good, Marie’s good people. She helped out a lot before I stole you and forced you to live in my house. ;). See you soon. On the bus now.

Landon chuckles beside me and I side-eye him. “What?”

He shrugs and claps my back with his hand. “First James… and now you. Wonder who will be next? Blake will probably never settle down and Nolan is caught up on Marie… and after Drea… fuck no. My hand and I are great friends.”

I wince. “That was… brutal. Not even puck bunnies?”

He groans and shakes his head, moving his gaze out the window. “No thanks. It was fun when I was under twenty-five. I’m thirty… What if I want kids and a family? I thought I had that with Drea, even when there were like forty different red flags. I think getting cheated on and then all of the drama with James and Marie, Logan and Bianca, and now with you and Brittany? I’m… good, man. No marriage for me.”

I shrug. “You’re still young. You think Nolan will get over it?”

We both glance behind our shoulders towards the back where Nolan is sitting with Logan, talking and laughing animatedly. “He will be. Fuck, man… if I were to ever find a women to settle down with, it would be one like Marie. But she was a little too closed off. She’s a great friend. She’s fun, kind, and loving… But I think I knew all along she was hung up on James. No one even knew that Nolan wanted more until he couldn’t have her at all. I think he got his hopes up while James was with Drea.”

I shake my head. That was a damn clusterfuck. Turns out that James and Marie were drunk one night and slept together, James didn’t remember sleeping with her and when Marie found out she was pregnant, James started dating Landon’s ex… No one was ‘allowed’ to meet her - her rules. She was bat shit crazy.

No one knew Drea was James’s Alex.

“Yeah… That was a fucking mess. Glad that’s all over. Has there been any update on her at all?”

He frowns and shrugs. “Not sure. James doesn’t talk about her at all. Maybe Logan would know more since that shit went down at his wedding, plus Bianca and Marie are close.”

I hum and I glance out the window to find that we’re pulling into the lot. Time to get home. “Well, man… see you soon .” We nod to each other and then head off the bus, waiting for the driver to open up the compartments for our bags before I throw them over my shoulders and head over to my car.

I can’t wait to bury myself inside of Lillian with no condoms or barriers, no worries about another Brittany. But damn it, I want her more than just for her glorious, curvy body. We have to have that damn talk.

___________

I leave my bags in the car and rush through the door, wanting to see my girls. All four of them.

I hear loud voices coming from the playroom and smile when I see Marie and Lillian talking, both holding a baby. My three girls are running around like wild animals, but you can tell they’re ready for a nap or some quiet time. Tilly and Nessa’s eyes are so hooded and tired.

Avery spots me first and squeals, racing over to me and jumps up into my arms. This girl is getting so tall and big that she’s going to start knocking me down if I don’t pay attention.

“You’re home!”

I nod and kiss her head, leaning down to hug Tilly and Nessa before they can crash into me. “I’m home. How are my girls?”

Nessa starts ranting about all of the fun they had at the birthday party and the park today, and how they’re going to have a fun night with me.

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