Page 55 of Balance

I close my eyes and lean my forehead against my mirror. Should I just go ahead into the arena to skate and work out? Might as well.

I comb my hair and toss my towel in the hamper before I roll on some sweats and toss on a t-shirt. I’ll be on the ice, in my gear, for most of the day anyway, I don’t need to dress up.

I sit down to shove my feet into my shoes and socks, make my bed and pick up my room a bit. Hoping that Lillian will come back in here to me after our talk.

Fuck, I’m a mess. I still want to know how her talk went with Andy,what she found out about her birth parents and Betty’s kids. She’s been through so much in such a short amount of time. Fuck, her childhood was hell. I know I’m privileged. I never had to worry about where my next meal was or when the designer clothes would be showing up in my closet.

Having a family that only cares about success and money wasn’t pleasant, but it was all I knew in Manhattan. Growing up in the city and raised by nannies, I thought I hatedmylife.

Then you hear the real horror stories. Lillian was sold by her adoptive parents, and lost a foster parent as a teen. Then basically lost Betty by eighteen and then held her hand as she passed away. She didn’t talk to her for almost ten years… all for what? Greed and money? Jealousy?

I have half a mind to drive my ass to California and just ask them why… Why would anyone treat Lillian that way? She’s a fucking angel.

Then there’s the whole children thing. Does she truly want kids? Is she just telling me what I want to hear? She’s so damn young, has so much time and life ahead of her, she deserves the world.

Literally anything and everything she wants and I just feel like my old ass with all of my baggage would be holding her back.

But she’s also right. It’s not up to me.

We have some sort of fucked-up connection. From the moment my eyes met her stormy gray ones, I knew she was going to be special.

I find the kitchen a bit of a mess, but I just smile. It smells fantastic. I open up the oven just to check and find a plate in there, ready and waiting for me. Scrambled eggs and toast, with a note on the oven to check the fridge for chopped fruit and avocado.

I sigh as I sit down and shovel it all in my mouth, then clean up the kitchen before I make a protein shake and grab a few bars to take with me for the road. I grab a notebook and a pen from the drawer beside the fridge to write Lillian a note. I chew on my lip as I sign it and hope that we can actually make this work.

I’ve never been that lucky.

The drive to the arena is mindless, I blast some music to clear my head and think about our upcoming games this week, thankful that we’re home. Then the cookout, shit, I wonder what Lillian will throw together? Hopefully she makes enough.Everything she touches is mouthwatering, the guys are going to go nuts.

I park in my spot and lock the truck after I grab my bag. I nod to Landon who is sitting on the hood of his car on the phone, he looks pissed and is shaking his head. Looks like most of the guys had the same idea I had.

We need to get out of our heads and work off the bad energy.

Unless I’m a dumbass and todaywasa practice day.

I slow and lean up against the wall of the building, waiting to see if he wants to talk about whatever that’s about. I don’t think he’s dated at all since the whole Drea/Alex bullshit from months ago. Damn Landon and James picking up the crazy bitches.

Ha. I’m one to talk. At least neither of them had a kid with her.

He groans out loud and shoves his phone in his pocket before stomping towards me. He sends me a look and shakes his head, running his fingers through his blonde hair before shoving his sunglasses up his nose.

“The damn cops still have no idea where Drea[9] is… She’s not in the state and they’re not calling other departments or asking for help in LA since it’s not a big enough case or some shit.”

I grunt and follow him through the doors after we get checked out by security. “Sorry, man. Maybe some others will come forward and push the local PD to call up LA?”

He shrugs and slams the doors open to the locker room before heading straight to his cubby. I slap Nolan’s back and do the same to James’s before I toss my bag into my space and start shucking out of my clothes.

Coach Williams saunters in after I finish up lacing my skates and he clears his throat. I groan internally. What now? Maybe today was mandatory. Thank fuck I came in.

“Daniel is going out of town for a week starting tomorrow, any issues or grievances can go to Charlie. Or come to me and we canwork something out. Today we’re going to be doing some drills and tossing our rookies out on the ice in random teams. Lines one and two will start us off and we’ll go from there once we’re all exhausted and worked out from what I’m going to put you through. Coach Mason will be in, in a few hours.”

He glances around and snaps his fingers at James. “Captain, any words?”

James shrugs and glances around at all of us with his steely gaze. “We have to win against Arizona on Thursday, no ifs, ands, or buts. Oh, and for the cookout this Saturday at Morgan’s house, shoot me a text if you’re coming so that I can work out who’s bringing or cooking what.”

Williams rolls his eyes and claps his hands. “Meet me out on the ice in five minutes, boys.” He leaves the room and we finish up gathering our gear before we head out to the halls. The first breath of the icy air hits my lungs and I finally relax.

After tonight, I’ll know what’s happening between Lillian and me for good… Either she’s going to be mine or I’m going to chase her.

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