Page 57 of Balance

“Well… who wants bubbles?”

Chapter 19

Lillian

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I’m a nervous wreck the entire night leading up to bedtime for the girls. We watched two movies and they’re finally getting tired. I should have worn them out a little more today. I almost wish that it didn’t get late so damn fast. I feel like the day flew by.

After dropping Avery off at school, I took Nessa and Tilly to the park. After we got home and ate lunch, we all went down for naps, even Mackenzie joined me in my room for a snooze. We got up, played, and did some schoolwork. It’s like an endless loop every day, but I’m actually feeling happy here. Free and content.

Makenzie left after looking more like her old self again, and we picked up Avery.

It was like I blinked, we had dinner, watched movies, and now it’s almost time for our ‘talk’. I shudder to think about what he might say, or not say.

I stand up and cradle Tilly to my chest, Morgan stands and lifts up Nessa as Avery grumbles sleepily down the hall aheadof us. Good thing we brushed teeth after the first movie so this makes our lives a heck of a lot easier and Tilly is already in a diaper that’s still dry.

I get them situated and hold my breath, shocked that I don’t have to read or rock them for an hour tonight. It’s like they know that I’m freaking out andwantingthem to prolong this, so of course they’re angels.

Morgan is waiting for me in the hall, leaning up against the wall with a smirk lining his lips. He’s still in a pair of gray sweats with a tight navy blue t-shirt.

His feet are bare and his hair is slicked back from running his fingers through it after his shower at the rink.

He’s… he’s too much. Too attractive. Too damn perfect, even when he thinks he’s riddled with flaws. Who isn’t?

I ignore him and knock on Avery’s door, sneaking in to kiss her head and then shuffling back out, dragging my feet as if they’re attached to anvils.

Morgan chuckles as I softly close the door and peer up at him with wide eyes. His hazel eyes flash in the dim lighting, and I just wish that we could fix everything with sex. Because, damn… that was damn perfect. Every time.

I’m used to men sort of fumbling around or being so selfish that I never get to finish til I left and went back home for the night, getting myself off.

But Morgan? I… He clears his throat, pulling me out of my thoughts. He places his warm, large hand at the small of my back right above my ass. It sends a tingle up and down my spine, settling right in my core. I want his hands all over me. I want him in me. Surrounding me.

Damn it.

We sit down on the couch in the dim lighting and silence. The TV is off, and there’s only one lamp on in the corner. I don’t have a glass of wine in my hand to distract me from this nightmare.

Morgan clears his throat and I slowly spin sideways to look into his eyes. “I want to apologize for all of the bullshit that comes out of my mouth and will continue to spew for the rest of our lives. Hopefully not tonight… But I’ve done a lot of thinking. I won’t try to change your mind or hold you back, or try to tell you howyoufeel or what you want anymore. I’m sorry. I just see this young, gorgeous woman and want... Fuck. Lillian, I want you to have the world. You’re not even thirty, you still have the time to meet someone that’s single, never married, never had kids.

“Who has the means to want to have children with you. But I know that you are a damn grown woman. You’ve been through more than most of the people I know combined. You’ve been through hell and back and I commend you for being a shining example for my children. I want you here, I want you with me. I want to see where this goes… but we need to be open, honest, and communicate, which I know I’m absolute shit at.”

I hold up my hand and press my lips together. “Just… take a breath. What do you want, Morgan?”

He blows out a slow breath and wipes his hands down his sweats. “I want you. I want you to choose me, choose us. My family, my girls. If you want to teach, then I support you. If you want to get your own place and see where we go from there, I support you. I don’t care about my past hang-ups, my baggage… Brittany or anything else. I want what you want.”

I nod and close my eyes, letting his words soak into me. “Okay.”

He grunts and I open my eyes, blinking at him as he shakes his head. “I need more than an ‘okay’, woman. You need to tell me what you want, what your plans are. We don’t need to talk children, but… I just don’t think I’ll be fathering any more of those demons. Three is enough for me, I think. Especially having all girls.”

I chuckle and swing both of my legs up on the couch before crossing them and placing my palms on my knees. I clear my throat and stare right into his eyes. “I’m okay not having biological kids, Morgan. Like you said, we don’t need to get into that right now. I want you, I want those three girls in my life, even if we decide to just be friends right now or down the road. I loved teaching, but I’m also loving being home with the girls. I love teaching all three of them new things every day, knowing that they actually want me around. I love cooking with them, rocking them to sleep, and talking with Avery about everything and anything.

“I love reading to them, playing with them. Hell, they even make cleaning fun. All I know is… Is I’ve fallen for you. I want to attend your games and cheer you on. I want to be there for you when you retire, be it at the end of this season, or in a few years. I want to meet your friends, go out on dates… I want to sleep in your bed…”

He bites down on his bottom lip and slowly licks along the indents his teeth made. “Yeah? What do you want to do in my bed?”

I chuckle and hide my face behind my hands. “I want to lay naked with you… learn everything about your body. Learn what you love, like… and what you don’t. I want you to fuck me so slow, deep, then fast and hard… that I don’t remember my own name or what our problems were in the first place. I want you to eat me out until I scream…”

He groans and scoots closer to me before he drags me up onto his lap, forcing me to straddle him. “Is that right?” He presses his nose and lips against my neck, breathing me in and nipping at my skin. “Tell me, Lillian… are you mine?”

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