Page 72 of Balance

I shudder and lick my dry lips, closing my eyes as I soak him in. “Yeah? Will you even be able to?”

He snorts. “Yeah… Baby, tell me. Will you stay here with me? With us?”

I hiccup under my breath, the tears threatening to fall once more. Of course he knew exactly what I was thinking about.

I close my eyes and imagine the first day I met him. When he was stressed and swung open the door to me, thinking I was just some random college student.

How he was about to leave for work and didn't have any other option but to offer me the job. How he thought I was too young, unqualified.

How we went from tiptoeing around each other to having sex as much as we can. All of the miscommunication, drama, and nonsense. But also the beautiful times, too.

But we've been there for each other. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have been able to see Betty. I wouldn't have been about to hold her hand again.

Her children wouldn't be getting the justice we all deserve. I would still be depressed and lost without him and his girls.

It's definitely too fast, neither of us are ready for this. But I don't give a shit anymore.

I need him.

I nod and he blows out a harsh breath and squeezes my hip with his good hand. “Yes.”

“Good. We have a lot to talk about… But in the meantime, let’s relax and bask in the calm before the storm. The holidays, figuring out what the hell happened with my parents. Fuck, everything in our lives. I don’t care about it. I just want you, your love, your support. The comfort you bring me.”

I turn in his arm and press a soft kiss to his right arm, on top of his sling. “Let’s take the girls outside so that we can talk a bit more. I don’t want to wait. You end up saying something stupid and pissing me off.”

He searches my eyes before he nods and steps away, not taking his dark hazel eyes off of me. His dark hair is pushed back and his pale face seems so gaunt and tired. I feel bad, he should rest, but I also want this all hashed out.

I want us to be a family.

We corral the girls into the backyard and they rush straight to the trees to play hide and seek. I pull two chairs out into the sunlight and collapse down as I wait for Morgan to get settled.

Even bundled in a jacket, it’s freezing. But at least there isn’t any snow, yet.

“Do you want to start?” He asks as he runs his hand down his face and glances over to watch the girls for a few moments before he meets my eyes again.

“Where to start though? Is this moving too fast? What about Brittany? The girls? Your family? Your teammates and friends? Will this cause an issue, you actually coming out with us being together? Then there’s my past… I just got out of a long-term relationship, you just finalized your divorce… And there’s the fact that you don’t want any more children. Do I just donate my eggs?”

I press my lips together and stare down at my lap as I wait for him to reply. Was that too much? He always wants to know what’s on my mind, and there it is.

He clears his throat and I squeeze my eyes shut. “I know that I have been a dumbshit over the last few months, but I want you. All of you. If you really want a child… I don’t know. We can see how this move goes, depending on what’s going on with my shoulder. I don’t give a shit about what anyone else thinks. You’re it for me, Lillian. I want you. I don’t give a shit if my parents are unhappy about it. Brittany doesn’t get a say in anything in my life.

“My parents don’t give a shit about me, only about what others think. How successful I am. Who gives a shit? Truly? Inever imagined I would be happy again. I never imagined even anything remotely serious. Ever. I didn’t want to bring another woman around the girls, not after what their mother put them through. But then came you.

“You’re young, gorgeous. Intelligent. Empathetic, caring, and so damn kind and loving that I want to pinch myself half the time, wondering if you’re an angel. You put up with me. My girls. My life… and I want to be there for everything through yours. I want to hold your hand through it all.”

I bring my eyes up to his and don’t hide my tears. Just, what? Where did this man come from?

“Where do we go from here? Do I continue to take money from you to watch the girls? Do I get a job? Do I move out? I feel like I’m in this gross state of limbo and like I’m taking advantage of you.”

He rolls his eyes and scoots around in his chair, getting more comfortable. “Whatever you want to do. I won’t fight you on anything anymore. I apologize for fucking everything up. How stupid I was. How I didn’t trust you, didn’t ask questions before assuming.”

I nod and chew on my inner cheek. “So it’s all up to me?”

He smirks at me and winks before rubbing his hand down his thigh. “It’s all up to you. I’m going to just breathe and go along with the flow. I’ll help you find a job, if that’s what you want. I’ll help you find a place that’s safe. I’ll support you if you just want to stay home with the girls. I’ll hire more help. I’ll do whatever. You. Fucking. Want.”

I slowly blink at him for a few moments. This is Morgan, right? He didn’t get a personality transplant? Is this real life? I breathe in the cool, crisp air and tilt my head to the side, squinting my eyes at him as I relax my shoulders and hum.

“Okay, I want to get a job. But part-time so that I can be with the girls as much as possible. I can’t imagine them going from being home every day to some daycare or preschool facility.”

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