Page 65 of Raised On It

“Miles, you’re that guy.”

“What guy is that?”

“The player. The one who needs all the attention, especially from women. The one who flirts. The one who kisses people on the cheek and dances suggestively with them. The kind of man who behaves like this!” she says, waving the phone an inch from my face. “The guy who inevitably does something he shouldn’t when he has a girlfriend waiting at home for him.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Yes, you also dance with the grandmothers, and you’re an equal opportunity flirt, but it’s still not something I’m willing to put myself through again. I’ve been there. If I thought it hurt with Grant, I know it will hurt twice as much with you.”

“I’ve told you this before but I guess you need to hear it again. I. Am. Not. Your. Ex.”

“I know you aren’t. But you are at the same time.”

“Fuck that! You’re scared and using this as an excuse because you know this is real!” I say, raising my voice.

“Don’t yell at me!” she yells back.

“I’m sorry, but you’ve caught me off guard, and you’re not making any sense,” I say, trying to calm down but feeling frantic inside.

“Maybe not to you.”

“Baby, my personality is one of the things you love about me. I know it is, and I also know you don’t want to change me. You and I work the way we do without having to change each other. We fit, Mason.”

Her eyes are glassy, one tear betraying her as it falls down her cheek.

“Baby, I love you. I don’t see anyone else but you.”

“You really think you love me?”

“I do. You’re it for me.”

“First loves never last.”

“Tell that to Reece and Rachel.”

Talking to the floor, she says, “You don’t love me, Miles. I’m just the city girl who rolled into town for a few months. I’m different is all.”

“Mason, please stop this.” I lift her chin so she can’t hide her eyes from me. Tears are streaming down her face. “I’ve never told another woman I love them, this is true, but it doesn’t mean this won’t last. Mase, you finally find me and make me fall in love with you, and now, you want to sit here and tell me my feelings aren’t valid.”

I wish today was like any other day when I could lighten the mood with a smart-ass comment, but I’ve got nothing. Instead, I seem to be having quite the opposite effect. More tears start falling from her beautiful eyes.

“Mason, baby. Don’t cry. I love you. I aminlove with you. Think what you want, but it’s true.”

“The thing is, I love you too, Miles. That’s the problem. I can’t love you because in the end you’ll hurt me. In the end I live on the other side of the country.”

“I knew it.”

She fucking loves me.

Nothing has ever felt so good.

“What?” She sobs.

“You love me.”

“But don’t you see? It doesn’t matter. It’s too hard for me to be with someone like you. I can’t put myself through it again. Besides, I’m leaving.”

“But you can stay. You can write anywhere,” I say, ignoring the part about me being too hard to be with.

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