Page 10 of Fourth Point Of Contact

“I have to choose a wall?” I sighed, looking around at all the space. “I guess the living room. One should do it, don’t you think?”

“I mean…I guess. Don’t look at me. Honey does all the decorating.”

“Just something small. I don’t want to take up too much space and have people coming over, talking about my pictures. That’s just weird.”

“Agreed. Maybe a picture of a gun?”

“That could be cool.” I started searching online. “What do you think? Eight by ten?”

“Nothing bigger.” I turned the computer to face him. “What do you think of that?”

He winced, shaking his head. “I don’t know. Munitions that spell out your name? That’s kind of cheesy. What if you did something artistic—like…a shelf with a gun on it?”

“Just a shelf.”

“Right. And then you stick a gun up there. Simple. You don’t even need to buy a picture.”

That made sense. “Why bother, right? I could get a slab of wood and nail it to the wall.”

“Exactly. And you have a ton of weapons. Hell, we have a whole silo filled with them. Take one, slap it up there, and boom! You have a decoration.”

“And it would come in handy if there was ever a home invasion.”

“Exactly.”

Yeah, I could do that. Hell, I could have a whole wall of guns if I wanted. Not that it would be safe if any kids came over. Not that I planned on having any kids come into my home, but semen was spreading around here like a disease. Everyone was getting knocked up, and it wouldn’t be long before kids were invading my territory.

“So, now that we solved your problem, you want to help me with mine?”

“Yeah, go online and buy a fucking cane.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “You know, I showed up when you needed help.”

FNG was so fucking dramatic. “Yeah, you really solved all my problems. What would I do without you?”

“Asshole,” he muttered as he stormed out of the house.

I chuckled to myself as I picked up my ringing phone. “Hey, Mom.”

“Patti, how are you?”

“Fine.” I really fucking hated when she called me Patti, but she’d done it all my life. I wasn’t likely to change it anytime soon.

“Are you eating enough? The last picture you sent me, you looked awfully thin.”

“The last picture I sent you was a year ago.”

I snatched my beer and headed into the living room to take a seat while I put on the game.

“I really think I should come for a visit. You know, I was talking to my friend Lucy the other day. You remember Lucy. She’s the one with the purple hair? Remember, she forgets to take the curlers out?”

“Yeah, I remember her,” I sighed, wondering how long this conversation was going to take.

“Well, her granddaughter is going to be going to Kansas in a month, and I was thinking?—”

“Nope. Don’t even go there, Mom. I’m not taking Lucy’s granddaughter out.”

She gasped into the phone, and I knew she had that look of shock on her face that I knew all too well from my childhood. “I would never suggest something like that. I just thought maybe you could show her around.”

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