“Exactly as it sounds!” I snapped. “Yeah, right. I beg to differ. You bet your fucking life! Take your pick!”

“Alright, I’m not sure what’s going on, but this seems like a good time for me to exit,” Chase muttered. “Good luck with…this,” he said to Patrick.

“I think I’ll go downstairs,” Debra said, twisting her fingers.

As they both left, I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at Patrick. “Well?”

“Well, what?” he snapped.

“Is that all you have to say?”

“About what? I don’t even know what the fuck is going on here!”

“What’s going on is a spider tried to kill me and you don’t even seem concerned about it.”

“We were nearly eaten by a bear and you think a tiny fucking spider is going to kill you?”

“It tried to!” I shouted. “It was two seconds from biting off my hand!”

“It’s not even big enough to pierce the skin!”

“It has sharp pincers!” I screamed.

I knew I was being slightly irrational, but that thing nearly killed me and he didn’t seem to care about it. If he was going to act like this when I was scared, then was there really any hope for us? Not at all.

“Look, I killed the fucking thing. Can we drop this?”

“Sure. Why not? It’s only me over here fearing for my life.”

“You took on a bear,” he reiterated.

“And this is a spider. What’s your point?”

“It’s not even close to the same size!”

I opened my mouth to argue, but decided it wasn’t worth it. “Burn the sheets.”

“Excuse me?”

“That thing touched the sheets. I will not get back in that bed tonight. Not as long as those same sheets are on the bed.”

“So, fucking wash them!”

“Oh, sure. I’ll just wash them,” I laughed.

“That’s usually what people do,” he argued.

“Well, not me. They’re tainted.”

“Yeah? Well, I touched the spider. Do you want me to burn my hands, too?”

“Might as well! You won’t be touching me with them!”

“I won’t be touching you at all, you fucking lunatic!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”