Page 17 of Break

No. No. He wouldn’t show them all, would he? He wouldn’t…

Then again, none of these guys say things they don’t mean. They always follow through on each and every threat, which means he knows I didn’t check a certain box on his form and he’s showing everyone the video of that night, the night where he and Jaxon and Dimitri all…

Vomit starts rising in my throat, but my legs shake and I can see my whole life, my job, everything I’ve worked at falling away. One video and I’m done. One video and it’s all over. I won’t betaken seriously. I can kiss my independence goodbye. I’ll have to move back in with my dad or keep trying to track down my runaway mom and see if she has any kind of love for me.

I’ll end up right where I started from—with no one to help me, to balance out the insanity I grew up with.

My chest tightens. My skin buzzes. I can’t breathe. I’m going to pass out, and then I’ll be at the mercy of my bullies all over again, and now that the team has seen the video, it won’t just be my bullies using my body however they want, no matter how I feel about it.

I cover my mouth before a sob can leave my throat and head down the hallway. I have to get ahead of this. I’ll throw Knox under the bus. I’m just saving the team a scandal. I’m saving the coach from these assholes and their streak of horror.

And if Knox still has that video, then he’ll get caught and it’s not my word versus theirs. It was obvious I fought in the beginning, and his showing the other guys means it’s revenge porn, even if I would have liked it the first time around.

No head coach wants to take that kind of risk with cancel culture the way it is. People love football and they won’t hesitate to attack anyone who threatens the institution. Hell, Superbowl Sunday is basically a national holiday.

I slip into Coach Carpenter’s office and clear my throat. He glances at the assistant coach, nods to something and tells him to go ahead, then Coach Carpenter smiles at me. “Hope. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I wanted to talk to you about the new recruits. Knox, Jaxon, and Dimitri,” I say softly.

I have no idea how to word this, but if Knox goes, I’m sure the other two will as well. Especially if they have the video. It will make all of them a problem. The nagging voice in my head reminds me that police didn’t believe me and neither did the guys, but—

“Yes!” He beams at me. “You made all the difference. The guys are absolute animals on the field and we’re lucky to have them. Knox can outrun nearly anyone on offense. Dimitri could stop a brick wall, and Jaxon has an eye for the plays that succeed. I swear, he’ll be a coach one day. He can read another team in a matter of minutes.”

Okay, not a great start. If he’s already gushing about them, then he probably won’t take me seriously either.

“I’m going to do everything in my power to keep them before all the other coaches realize exactly how fantastic they are. They’re all mine, and it’s all thanks to you,” he says brightly.

My mouth opens and closes. “What… what do you mean?”

Coach Carpenter stands, then sits on his desk. I always appreciate that there’s distance between us when I talk to him. He’s a good man and I’ve seen him with his wife. But still, older men… I'd rather keep a distance.

“When I offered them the open spots on the team, they kept wavering. They asked me what I offered that other teams couldn’t. I mentioned our staff, then mentioned you, that you’re the best physical therapist a team could have, that you’re professional and smart, a real part of the team. That tipped the scales,” he explains.

My head swims. He gave them my full name? He told them I worked here and that’s why they joined? I’d been sure it was a surprise, that they were talking shit when they mentioned me, that they knew I’d be here.

Something empty and terrible in my chest opens up, but Coach continues. “They said that your dad was their old coach. They’d always appreciated what he did for them and you might as well be family. They talked highly of you, of how great it was that you were living your dream and how could they say no if you were involved?”

I shudder, but I can’t say anything now. He won’t believe me. Or he’ll fire me to keep them. They matter more in the long run, and now that these three have found me, it’s not like they’re going to quit mid-season. No one would take them.

I give Coach my best smile, but if he notices anything wrong, he doesn’t comment on it. That’s a running theme in my life. People don’t look closely. They don’t notice. If they don’t notice, it’s not a problem. If they do notice, they explain it away.

No one wants to believe the terrible things that can happen right in front of them.

He stands up, saying, “Come on, let’s see them train.”

My body moves with him as if I’m not really here. We head to the stadium field to see the guys running plays. The assistant coach cheers the guys on, yells what to do, then Knox slams into someone and keeps going. The sound of bodies colliding always makes me cringe.

I only know it’s Knox because he’s kept the same number. 11. It’s his lucky number. Which means that Dimitri is 76 andJaxon is 18. They move even better than I remember. Dimitri actually flips a guy when he slams into him, and I wince. Jaxon can launch a ball like his arm is a catapult. It’s astounding.

I knew they were good considering my dad would constantly rewatch games, but seeing them move on the team is insane. They elevate everyone’s game. Jaxon barks orders, points out holes, and then they’re taken advantage of ruthlessly. I think Knox is actually aiming for guys just to prove he can take a hit and keep going, but he’s rough as hell.

If I didn’t hate them, I’d be in awe of them. They were always a force on the field, but now they are just beasts.

Jaxon catches me looking and his dark eyes meet mine. He winks at me and blows a kiss. I move back a step, but Coach chuckles. “Guess they weren’t all talk about you, were they?”

I shake my head. They’re not all talk about anything. Knox doesn’t look up at me. Instead, he tackles another guy, taking him out in a way that makes me flinch.

Coach sighs as he crosses his arms. “They feel right at home here, don’t they?”

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