Page 48 of Break

Regardless, it excited me, and that scared me enough to push away from them and demand that they leave. I thought theywould resist, but they filed out one after the other, leaving me alone in an apartment that doesn’t even feel like home anymore.

Do I even belong anywhere? Or truly with anyone?

I never got close to anyone after I left my dad, not even having a single friend. Nothing other than my work, because I wanted safety above everything else.

And maybe… just maybe… they have become the thing that completes it all.

The nightmares, the ones that have haunt me for so long can be… my dark, twisted protectors.

I scoff. From what, exactly?

My dad’s in jail. Jared is still in the hospital. From what do I need protection?

With that thought, I still hang a big towel over the glass door of my shower before I step in.

The water starts cold, cascading down my body. As if the chill can wash away all the bad thoughts, bad memories and traumas.

My dark, raven hair clings to my shoulders before I lather it in shampoo. The scent of fresh flowers wraps around me as a safety blanket and my fingers linger on my scalp.

I never changed my shampoo or lotions, always keeping the same scent on my skin.

“Always smelling so sweet.” Knox’s voice echoes in my head.

Shit.

I always kept him close, never changed. If I truly wanted them away from me, I would’ve changed everything. I would’ve disappeared and separated myself from everything that reminded me of them.

They still probably would’ve found me, but it would’ve been a harder challenge at least.

I rinse my body and hair and turn off the shower before I grab the towel over the glass and bind it around me.

With a shake of my hand through my hair, I start to blow dry it. Just a little bit before I go to bed. I will fix it tomorrow morning.

When it’s no more than damp, I stare at my lotion and decide to leave it for once, as a silent stand against Knox. Even if he probably doesn’t even remember it anymore.

The sun has already been replaced by the moon once I get into bed. And I hope my dreams will give me much-needed clarity as the fear is still there but faded, the fog of it is lifted.

It’s no longer there to keep me from saying something I shouldn’t.

Saying yes.

KNOX

The blood on my hands is gone, but the marks still try to stare back at me in the dark. Hands that fought their way through life, but never could I stand up to my granddad. Not until Coach.

Am I strong? Or am I weak, just pretending to be tough?

A soft whimper draws my attention, and I stare through the darkness to the covered body squirming under the covers.

Hope.

Sweet, soft Hope. Broken by the cards she got in life and ruined by me.

By Dimitri.

By Jaxon.

But what she did was worse.

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