Page 54 of Break

I know I’m crazy, sick. How can I not be with how my dad treated me? I should feel shame or be mad, and perhaps on some level, I am.

But the peace wins.

I made a choice for myself, and I’m… okay with that. In a world as twisted and unpredictable as this one is, I have to be grateful for the fleeting moments I have even a sliver of control. Last night was one of those fleeting moments.

Perhaps, there will be another one soon.

“Are you okay?” Ben’s voice cuts through my thoughts.

I smile at him as I sit behind my desk, straightening up with an air of motivation hovering around me. Today is a new day, and I’m going to make the most of it. That’s all I can do with every day that comes at me. It’s better than getting stuck in the past. “I’m fine, Ben. I promise.”

He leans against my desk, just enough so my vision to the training room is blocked.

“Did… something happen?” he whispers. “Between you and Jared?”

My brows nudge together as I wonder how he got that idea. The guys didn’t leave a sliver of evidence in my room to the point of my thinking thatIimagined that night. “No, why?”

He shrugs. “I know he was… interested in you, and now he got into a fight at a pub he never went to. It just feels off.”

My blood runs ice cold as I hold his gaze, my thoughts ricocheting throughout my brain as I try to think of a response. No one can know what went down that night.

And I can’t believe it… but I feel like I have to protect the guys like they protected me.

“Maybe you shouldn’t try to put two unrelated situations together,” I say with a small laugh, trying to lighten the tension settling in the air around us.

“Unrelated?” He chuckles. “I know he went to see you that day, after work.”

Wait. What all did he tell people? “He went to see me?”

Caution, patience. With all Jared did, the cameras, I have to be careful.

“Yeah, he even asked the new guys because he thought something was going on there, and they said go for it, so he wanted to ask you out.”

Oh, his trying to grope and rape me was just trying to ask me out. How stupid of me that I didn’t read between the lines.

“He didn’t ask me out, Ben. Really, he didn’t,” I insist as my expression becomes more serious, my disappointment threatening to seep into my words and onto my face.

He pushes off the desk. “Okay, sorry for asking. It all just felt… weird.”

I muster a smile. “It’s okay.”

He lingers. “Just… be careful with those three.”

It’s already too late for that.

I nod. “I will.”

He mimics my nod and turns to leave. He rounds the corner, and my gaze catches Knox staring at me from a distance. His expression is enough warning to send goosebumps over my skin.

I can’t peel my eyes away as I can almost feel his warm breath on my skin again, can feel the bruises he left on my thighs and hips as he marked his territory.

How raw and pure every touch and thrust was.

Even when I tried to scrub his presence from my skin, I can still feel him inside me.

My skin heats and I squirm in my seat, a gentle pulsing sensation between my thighs as I imagine last night. How he spread my legs. How he bent me over. Every little detail.

A grin tugs on his features as he realizes the effect he has on me.

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