She pauses, then slowly touches my busted knuckles. When I meet her eyes, I see the question written on her face.
“My dad,” I answer. “I… made him second-guess ignoring his job.” It’s a simplified answer, but true enough. “I wish I could go back in time and do the same to my past self. He failed you. I failed you. It never should have gotten this far.”
She slowly leans her head on my shoulder. It’s hesitant and she’s tense, but she’s trying. I kiss the top of her head after deciding it’s worth the risk. She gently rubs my wrist instead of my hand. I don’t know if it means we’ll be okay. I don’t know if it means anything, but it makes me feel fucking good.
“What the fuck?!” Jaxon’s yell is sharp, Knox jumps up, and Hope cringes into me as she whimpers.
I rub her back, wrapping an arm around her. “It’s okay.”
Jaxon storms in a second later, panting, barely holding himself together. He looks back outside and grits his teeth. “If I’m out there another second, I’m going to kill him.”
“What happened?” Knox demands, sleep thickening his voice.
“That fucker is either in jail for life, or we’re burying him far away from his wife,” Jaxon answers.
Hope whimpers and hides her face in my neck. Knox and I share a look. I shrug. “What do you mean? Hope’s mom left.”
“Not by choice she didn’t,” Jaxon snarls.
Fourteen
HOPE
This isn’t how this is supposed to go. That was supposed to be a lie. It has to be a lie. She left. She found happiness somewhere and just couldn’t come get me. They had a fight andshe left in the middle of the night… from the cabin… without the car… in a place with no taxis.
The more I try to justify it and stick to that story, the more it falls apart.
He had to be lying.
He couldn’t have killed her.
He…
Tears roll over my eyelashes before I can stop them and if I move, they’ll all know. Dimitri stiffens and tightens his hold on me. He doesn’t ask me to move. He doesn’t do anything but sit there, his heart thudding in my ear, steady, strong, and only slightly fast.
“Explain,” Knox grunts.
“He said he killed her. I brought up the video I saw of her, asked if she left because she knew that he was a twisted fuck, then he said she never left the property. That she’s always been here. That she’s proof ghosts don’t exist,” Jaxon snarls.
I hear and feel him pacing. It’s making me nauseous. It’s making it hard to keep my eyes closed, hard to exist. I take an unsteady breath and take in Dimitri’s scent. I grip his shirt and his hand harder. I want to fold myself up and disappear. Or wring out every bad memory that’s filling my brain.
Why isn’t that an option?
Why do I keep expecting to hear a door open and find my dad looming there, watching me with hunger and violence?
Dimitri is right here. Jaxon and Knox are talking. It’s stupid!
“Easy,” Dimitri says.
“Stop. Don’t tell me to calm down. He’s a fucking killer. That’s who your father is defending. That’s who’s been…” He trails off.
Even with him this mad, I know I’m the reason he’s quiet. It was the same thing last night. Knox had to tell him to knock it off, but whenever I flinched, Jaxon would calm. He’s trying. He’s trying to control himself for me.
That’s not right.
It doesn’t make sense. They’ve never been that focused on me. Ever. At least not like that.
They take what they want and ignore how it makes me feel, twisting and warping it into whatever they want it to be.