Page 13 of Wreck Me

“If what I’m giving you isn’t enough, Nick, then we should have been over a long time ago. You didn’t need to fuck around behind my back. Didn’t need to do it in my bed either. Just fucking get out! We’re done.”

Nick and his friend quickly get dressed, grabbing theirthings and heading to the door. He has the audacity to turn and face me one last time, but I can’t bear to look at his eyes.

“Finn . . . you could?—”

“GET OUT!”

“Dude, you’ve got this. Fuck them. I didn’t know they’d be here. Just pull it together. We’ll have a beer and then we’ll bounce.”

Trey’s voice brings me back to the present, and I nod at him, but I’m still annoyed. Who wants to share a beer with a shitbag person that hurt you?

It’s been five years, and I’m definitely over him, just don’t like the reminder shoved right in my face. The worse part of our relationship wasn’t the cheating, anyway, it was the gaslighting, manipulation, and guilt he constantly placed on me that fucked with me more. I just didn’t realize how toxic the behavior was until I needed to get him out of my life. After I kicked him out, news traveled through our small group, and Trey found out that Nick had been cheating on me for the majority of our relationship. Explains the lack of sleepovers.

Trey fist-bumps everyone at the table: his friend Leo, Oliver, Nathan, and . . . Nick. I give them all a nod as I take my seat next to Leo. Trey and I have known him since high school, when we all played soccer together, and he’s all around a good guy.

We order a round of beers, everyone chatting, the hostess coming back to check on things and flirt with Trey. I keep quiet, completely out of my comfort zone and feeling like I want to crawl out of my fucking skin.

“So, how ya been, Finn?”

“Don’t call me that. Griffin is fine. And I’m great,” I answer curtly as my phone goesoff.

“That’s how it’s gonna be? Not allowed to call you the name you go by?” Nick has the audacity to question, and I just shrug my shoulders in reply. He’s not worth it, and I don’t want to hear my name from his toxic, lying mouth.

My phone dings with an incoming text.

Dad: Just read your feature and it’s subpar at best. If you can’t produce quality work, I’ll find someone who can. You’re making the decision to replace you with Dion easier and easier every day. Get your head out of your ass and do your job. I’m ashamed you’re a Nash. Ruining my good name with shit writing.

My shoulders slump as defeat sets in. Fuck. I just turned in my story on Pineview, Washington. I worked my ass off on that feature and I’m damn proud of it. The entire town deserves a spotlight feature, and I only focused on a few of the places there—a little Turkish restaurant run by the sweetest mother and daughter duo, an incredible rare finds book shop, and a burlesque theater with the best show I’ve ever seen, performed by extremely talented dancers that should be on a New York stage instead of hidden away in a small town in Washington. Bringing a spotlight to these places, bringing in tourism—knowing they can handle a boom—can make these towns prosper instead of crumble. We have the power to help, and it’s a piece of my job that I take seriously. Of course he hated it.

Me: I apologize, Dad. I’ll work harder.

Dad: You’re damn right you will. We don’t need stories on fantastical lands, we need grit. You’re going to tank our reputation, Griffin, if you don’t step it up. I expect more from a Nash.

Me: I’m trying

Dad: It’s not good enough.

I’m not enough for my parents. I wasn’t enough for Nick, and even if things could be different between me and Carter, I’d end up not being enough for him, either. I don’t even know why I try anymore.

Sitting alone again on my couch with my laptop on my lap, I rest my head back against the cushion in frustration, defeat pressing in. Memories of Carter’s crystal-blue eyes dance behind my eyelids as he looked up at me, shock and awe written all over his face as I worked our slick dicks together. He’s easily the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. His rich brown hair mussed and falling into his eyes, his flushed skin, his big, thick cock, and the ridges up the length.

His body aside, the feeling I got from the moment I laid eyes on him was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. The way everything silenced in my head, all the pressure left, leaving just Carter. It was instant. As if everything in my life had brought me to that moment, I was rewarded with peace. God, I want that. I need that. Just for a minute.

Fuck it.

Not able to fight the pull any longer, I close my laptop, grab my keys, and I’m out the door heading to Temptations, driving a little faster than I should. I expected Carter to figure out who I was by now. Trey and I are both shocked he hasn’t reached out again, except for the single email at the beginning of the week. Maybe he didn’t feel the world shifting under his feet like I did. Maybe the entire thing was one-sided because I’m so goddamn desperate to have someone finally see me, to no longer be alone.

I shake my head of the thoughts while I drive on the empty streets before merging onto the highway. Temptations is roughly a thirty-minute drive, and I hope like hell Carter had nothing better to do on a Sunday night than go to a sex club. The thought freezes me for a moment. What if he’s hooking up with people?Cause what else would he do at a sex club, dumbass? Of course he’s hooking up with someone.

Nausea rolls around in my stomach at the thought. I don’t have any claim to Carter Hayes, but he’s mine. I don’t know how else to explain it.Mine. And I don’t want anyone else touching him but me.

The drive flies by, and before I know it, I’m pulling into Temptations, swiping my black membership card over the inside scanner and entering the club. I quickly check-in with the receptionist to reserve a room, and enter the main floor, loud music and naked bodies filling the dance floor and bar. The lights are dim, a red hue glowing off of everything tonight, my body vibrating with eager anticipation.

I do a quick scan, not seeing Carter right away, my heart throbbing in my throat, nerves completely shot. How am I going to feel if I see him with someone else? It was hot as hell to share him with that beautiful woman the first night, but the moment she walked away, a curtain had been lifted—bothliterally and metaphorically. I slowly prowl the outskirts of the main floor, my eyes scanning for Carter. I feel him here—a magnetism so strong, I couldn’t fight it if I wanted to—and I want to get my eyes on him before he finds me.

After ordering a drink from the bar, I slip to the back and wait. I could go to the back rooms and see if he’s there, but something tells me he’s close; I can feel him. I do another perusal of the bar, and at the far end, enveloped in the darkest part of the club, is Carter Hayes, his dark hair falling over his forehead, his eyes focused down on the drink cupped in front of him. Relief washes over me upon seeing him alone.

I keep to the shadows, sipping on a whiskey that tastes all wrong, watching Carter sulk at the bar alone. Beautiful female suitor after suitor propositions him, and he turns down every single one. It’s hard not to question whether he’s just not in the mood or if I seeped under his skin like he did mine.

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