Page 38 of Wreck Me

“Yeah? You like it? You like how I make you feel?”

“Fuck yeah, I do. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Don’t stop,” I chant.

“That’s it, lover. So good. Let me have it. Come all over us, flood us with your cum.”

I explode. My orgasm pummels through me with the power of a goddamn freight train.

My cum shoots out, filling the sheath he’s created with his foreskin and overflowing between us, coating both ofour cocks and Finn’s hand as he continues to stroke us together, my hips gyrating greedily as he fucks us.

Just as it becomes too much, everything too sensitive, Finn comes with a long moan that makes my heart rate pick up. I can’t look away. Watching our cocks tip to tip, Finn’s jerking, his cum mixing with mine, is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. He releases us before collapsing against me, the railing of the stairs supporting us, my hands rubbing up and down the strong muscles of his back.

His body is flush against mine and the way his bare skin feels against me is fucking mind-blowing. We stay like that for several long minutes, catching our breath and letting our heart rates find a non-life-threatening rhythm.

I wrap my arms tightly around his body, letting him sag against me.

“Holy. Shit,” he breathes against my neck.

“Yeah . . . holy shit. You just blew my goddamn mind,” I confess, because it’s the truth. I’ve never come so hard before, never felt anything so intense.

I hold him like that for a few minutes with the stillness of the night surrounding us. It isn’t until the chill of the night mixed with our wet bodies that I start to press against him so that he stands on his own.

“We should get going, we’re gonna freeze or get caught.”

“Wouldn’t want that, now, would we?”

The moment shatters, and my walls slam down hard.

“No. We wouldn’t,” I snap a little harder than necessary.

“Yeah. Figured. Wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about you. I get it. Been there time and time again.”

His words sting. But I don’t correct him. He thinks I’m so closed-minded that it would bother me that he’s a man. But that’s not it at all. Is it different? Yeah. But that’s not why my heads fucked up over this. Sure, I don’t want to let my familydown, and I know he’s hiding something, but that shit can be dealt with. It has everything to do with everything he makes me feel. I can’t give in to that. I can’t lose myself to someone else. The fact that, despite knowing that something is different when we’re together, I still can’t give him all of me. I don’t do feelings, and Finn makes me feel fucking everything.

I promised myself a long time ago that I would never let someone have my heart, that I would never get close enough to someone else for them to have the power to destroy me, but here I am. Just stupid enough to fall into bed with the one man who holds all the power to do just that.

Walking back into the house is a silent blur. Both of us too prideful and cocky to break the thick tension. But that’s the thing about whatever Finn and I have—even the angry silence between us is comfortable. There’s still nowhere I’d rather be. How fucked up in the head do I have to be? I don’t recognize the feelings stirring in my chest, my mind telling me to get the fuck out now, my heart feeling like it’s finally found home. I don’t do this shit. My head is lost to a million different things, I barely register Finn’s words.

“Want a drink?”

“Nah. I’m gonna go shower,” I reply curtly.

I walk through the house to the bedroom I claimed for myself, heading right to the massive walk-in shower and turning it on hot. My head is spinning, and it feels like I don’t know myself anymore. The only thing that’s certain is I’m never going to be the same after this.

CHAPTER 9

finn

Layingon my back in my bedroom, I focus on the ceiling, feeling like a huge piece of shit. I shouldn’t have said what I did to Carter after we both orgasmed. But he always pulls away after. The moment he finishes, his brain clears, and he takes ten steps back from me. I wanted to strike before he did this time, and I shouldn’t have. He said he would try, and tonight he did. He gave me pieces of himself that I thought I would have to try harder to receive. There’s no way he doesn’t feel this between us. I recognized it from the first moment I laid eyes on him at Temptations. He’s different. We’re different. He’s straight-up admitted to never doing anything like this before, so he may not even recognize this for what it is.

The shit he confessed about his brother, it’s no wonder why he’s so closed off. After seeing the aftermath of a love lost, being so young and not understanding the heartbreak? Carter has walls up that were directly because of that. I want to be the person to break them down, to show him how beautiful a relationship and being loved can be.

Feeling like a piece of shit, I get off my bed and walkthrough the house in search of Carter to apologize. His door is closed, but I don’t let that stop me, letting myself into the room with confidence. The noise from the shower leads me to him, the door separating us barely cracked open. Steam fills the bathroom, and I hesitate for just a moment.

I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want him. If he would only give in to what this is between us. I’m going to find a way to save us both through this shit situation and then I’m going to open his eyes to how good we can be together.

I just can’t come clean about everything yet. Do I feel guilty for manipulating him into spending the weekend with me? Slightly. But he needed it and he sure as shit wasn’t going to face what he’s feeling while being compressed by everything around him that has already decided for him who he is. Carter needs to figure that out on his own. If it isn’t me? So be it. At least I gave him the opportunity to explore and find out. But I’m it for him. I feel it.

Slipping into the bathroom, my clothes already discarded, I’m careful not to make any noise. Carter’s body is under the spray, his back to me, barely visible through the thick condensation that’s collected on the glass shower door. His head is in his palms as the stream beats down on the back of his neck. I can feel the emotion pooling off of him in waves. For a moment, I see myself—alone, wanting comfort in another person, lost, and confused—and I want to be for him what I need for myself.

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