Page 47 of Wreck Me

“Nothing!” I snap.

Finn’s head bops back like I smacked him, a flash of hurt passing over his face, and I instantly regret my tone. Even if he is the reason I’m in this impossible fucking position to begin with. He’s the fucking reason I’m in this mess, for some fucked-up reason, he’s set his sights on me and everything is just fucked.

If he had just left us alone and never reached out, I wouldn’t be feeling this way. I wouldn’t be across the country with him clouding my thoughts, muddling my emotions, and controlling everything I’m fucking doing. It’s his goddamn fault I’m in this mess. Not knowing who the hell I am, not understanding why I’m feeling the way I do. When I don’t want any of it. I didn’t ask for any of this!

I stand abruptly, looking around for my running shoes. I need to move. The pressure in my chest is closing in, my veins turning to ice. Fucking shit. I hate this. Hate that everyone views me as just this fun-time playboy who’s down for whatever. I’ve never given them a reason to think I can’t handle my shit, handle the business.

But you’re also giving them a thousand to think you don’t take anything too seriously.

Damnit, I hate feeling so weak. I’m frantically searching for my running shoes, needing to get this energy out of me before I explode.

“Where the fuck are they?” I practically yell. My body feels like it’s overheating, but my insides are cold, my head hazy, my heart racing at an erratic beat. Fuck, am I having a panic attack?

Finn grabs my arm, spinning me to face him, his other hand moving to my cheek. I can’t help but flinch at his touch, but he doesn’t waver. He stands strong in front of me, looking directly at my face through the lenses of his glasses. His voice is strong when he speaks again, calm and confident.

“Hey, hey. Look at me, Carter. Look. At. Me.”

I lift my eyes to meet his as he looks over my face, trying to read me, trying to figure out the unknown enemy making me spiral. It’s clear he reads the panic on my face, and that makesme feel worse. I don’t want him to see this side of me. I should punch him. He’s the fucking reason for all of this shit right now. But that would just make me feel worse. I don’t want to hurt Finn, as much as all of this is his fault.

His crystal-blue eyes pierce my soul with their depth. I’ve never been looked at like Finn is looking at me right now. Like he would burn the world down just to make me feel better. Like I’m the center of his universe, and he’s ready to combust with me if that’s how it goes down. The panic starts to recede like a tide moving out to sea, replaced by the fire that only Finn has the match to ignite.

“Talk to me. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. Just talk to me.” His words are so sincere, no sign of a hidden agenda or lies. “Tell me what you need, and I’ll do it. No questions. Let me help you.”

I slam my mouth against his in a bruising kiss. Just like every other time I’ve been with Finn, the stress evaporates into thin air. My mind goes blank as my heart thumps hard against my rib cage. I’m lit up with something completely new, a feeling so good I want to wrap myself up in it. An inferno that I’ll gladly burn up in.

“This what you need, lover?”

Yeah, this is exactly what I need.

CHAPTER 11

finn

I knew takingCarter to my grandmother’s was a gamble. It was clear she had some questions, but thankfully, she didn’t call me out while we were there. I’ve never taken someone to meet her before, and while she doesn’t know that I’m gay, she’s not stupid, either. But I knew the moment Carter said his full name, it clicked with her, and it makes me wonder how deep this goes with my dad if my grandmother recognized Carter’s name. I wish I knew the history there, but my dad isn’t very forthcoming about anything and my grandmother has made it clear not to bring him up to her.

Carter seemed fine when we got back to the house until his phone went off. I know the signs, one text from my dad is all it takes and I’ve turned into a raging asshole ready to pick fights and start fires with anyone and anything in my way. But Carter’s reaction surprises me. He’s anxious, on the verge of a panic attack. I fucking hate it.

He kisses me hard, and I meet him in the middle, taking everything he’s giving me without hesitation and giving it right backin return.

“I want to fuck you,” he hums against my neck as he sucks and nips at my skin. Chills scatter across my skin at the thought of Carter inside me. I’ve thought about being balls deep inside his virgin ass more times than I can count. I know he’s using me right now, but I’ll give him whatever he needs to feel better.

“It’s been a while . . .” I confess honestly.

“I’ll take it easy on you. Ineedyou, Finn.”

Fuck. If I hadn’t made up my mind before, I definitely have now. I’ve never been needed by anyone. I want Carter to need me. I want to be enough for him.

Carter pushes me against the wall, sinks down to his knees, and my brain nearly short-circuits. His fingers dip into the fabric of my shorts, pulling them down my thighs in one swift motion. My hard cock bobs free, slapping against my stomach. Fuck, is he really going to?—

“Ohhh, fuuuuck. Caaarter.”

His lips suction around the head of my cock and I nearly black out. His mouth is warm and wet, and just the fact that it’s Carter is enough to blow my mind. I know I’m his first, and that makes everything a million times better.

“Yeah?” he asks hesitantly, uncertainty flickering in his eyes. I reach my hand down, pushing the dark strands of his hair out of his face.

“Yeah. So fucking good. Don’t stop, I want to feel your mouth on me. Suck me hard.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing, if this sucks, at least I warned you.”

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