Page 50 of Wreck Me

“What?” I yell in shock. “Tobey Maguire putSpidermanon the map for cinema. You saySpiderman, people picture Tobey Maguire. And if they don’t, they’re either not true fans or too young to know any better.”

“I don’t know if I can stay here with you for a minute longer. Tom Holland is a king.”

“I’d like to see you try to leave, dumbass. I’ll chain you to the bed.”

His brows wiggle at me in a challenge.

“Can we agree that Andrew Garfield comes last, then?”

“Agree.”

“Rock, paper, scissors for which one we watch?”

“Deal.”

Carter and I throw our fists out, chanting as we go. Carter won with scissors to my paper.

“Suck it! Tom Holland it is!”

“No fuckin’ way! Best outta three, are you nuts?”

“Fine. You’re such a whine-ass.”

We throw our fists for another round. I win with paper covering his rock.

“Alright, may the best man win, Hayes.”

“Eat shit, Nash.”

“Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot.”

Carter slams his closed fist over my two outstretched fingers, winning the match. I groan loudly, dropping my head back to look at the ceiling.

“Hope you’re ready to enjoy a night with my boy. Better get comfortable!”

I grab Carter by the arms, pulling him into my space, situating us so that his back is leaning against my chest, his ass between my legs as we stretch out on the immense sofa. Hisdeep sigh is all the reassurance I need that it was the right move.

He puts onSpiderman 2002with Tobey Maguire without saying a word, putting a huge smile on my face that I don’t need to hide. I want to talk to him about his texts, about what upset him and why, but I don’t want to ruin what we’ve created right now. So I just leave it open-ended without pressing too hard.

Nuzzling into his neck, I keep my voice low, just letting him know he has someone if he needs, trying so hard for it not to come out as a plea. I desperately want to be there for him, want to take care of him the way I wish someone would take care of me. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here, judgment-free.”

Time seems to freeze, suspending us, and with every passing moment, I wonder if he’ll talk to me at all. Just when I’ve accepted that he isn’t ready to open up on a deeper level to me, his voice cuts through the thoughts in my head.

“I feel like an asshole for feeling the way I do, but I’m just lost and sometimes the pressure gets to be too much. Everyone sees me as one way, but like I said before, it’s not really me, and sometimes I just want to be the mess and have it be okay. I’ve manufactured this version of myself, and it’s not one I’m proud of. My brothers all have their shit together, and most days, they don’t think I do.”

“I know you love your family, but who cares what they think?”

Kettle, meet pot.

“I do. I love them so much, and they’re good people, Finn. I just want them to look at me like I’m not this fuck-off playboy guy. I’ve never slacked on anything when it comes to my job, and yet they still berate me that I’m out here fucking around instead of working.”

“Why do they think you’re here?” I can’t believe I haven’tthought to ask him what he told his family. I’ve been so consumed with only Carter, with getting him alone, that I didn’t take anything else into account.

“Told them the truth, that it was the only way you’d write the article. That it was the only time you had free.”

Okay, so not too far off base.

“It’s never too late to reinvent yourself. You’re never too old to start over, never too old to try something new, or to say this no longer brings me joy, I’m moving on. Life is short. Do you want to live it giving your family a fake version of yourself because you’re scared of burdening them with being human?”

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