Page 62 of Wreck Me

“You really think so?” I ask, looking for clarification. Needing it.

“Yeah, I’m sure. And if they’re dumb enough to run it, we’re going to fight them on it. They’ve got no basis. Plus, what kind of assholes are running that place?”

I just shrug, because other than the little I know about his dad, there’s a part of Finn that only I saw that isn’t capable of doing something like this to anyone. He genuinely seemed so passionate about writing stories and using his voice and platform for good. Maybe Sawyer is right and I have it all wrong—there has to be something else deeper going on here.

After a long-ass day, and pondering my family’s reactions, there’s one more person I need to talk to. I need the full story, I need to understand. Sawyer didn’t get closure when Ivy left, and I want to make sure that I have that. Even if the situations are completely different, I feel like I’m not going to find myself again until I reclaim some of that power. He wants to explain so bad, then I’m going to give him the opportunity and make it damn clear that we’re done.

No matter how much the thought nearly brings me to my knees in pain.

CHAPTER 14

finn

I sitwith a cool whiskey glass in my hand, shirtless, my grey sweatpants riding low on my hips. It’s the same as every night over the last two weeks. I’m completely empty. Broken.

My phone buzzes, and if I wasn’t so desperate to hear from Carter, I wouldn’t bother looking. I pick it up, Carter’s name flashing on the screen with a text message. I nearly slosh the remaining whiskey over the rim as I jerk upright in my seat. Unlocking my phone with trembling fingers, my heart in my throat, I read his text, the words stunning me.

Carter: I’m outside.

It takes me a moment before my body catches up to my brain, and I’m moving quickly through my house. Wrenching open my front door, Carter is standing there in the flesh. The urge to grab him and pull him into my arms is strong. I just want to hug him, hold him close to me. I can barely contain the relief that courses through my veins, the tears that want to fall. Fuck, I’vemissed him.

“We need to talk.”

“That’s never a good thing, but considering we haven’t spoken in over two weeks, I’m not going to complain,” I reply, my voice coming out as strangled and broken as I feel.

I open the door further and Carter walks into the house, and as he walks past me, I inhale his woodsy, sweet scent into my lungs. My fingers twitch at my sides, and I have to ball them into fists to keep from reaching out and touching him. He looks like he’s lost a little weight, the tan that he worked for in Emberleigh already faded. He spins on me, and the empty look in his eyes tells me that he’s not here to work things out. But I’m not going to let him go this easily. I can’t.

“I just need to know the truth. All of it. Nothing is making sense to me anymore. So, please, after everything, give me that. You said you wanted to explain. I need to hear it, but if you lie to me . . .”

I let out a long breath, running my hands through my hair. This conversation is long overdue.

“In case you missed it, my dad’s a top-notch asshole. Always has been. He’s ruthless when he wants to be, which is almost always, and I am his one and only failure, the golden child that he desperately wanted. He gave me the best education money could buy, tutors, coaches, but I have always fallen short in his eyes. The fact that I’m gay just makes it all the worse. I’ve been trying to be enough for him my entire life and always come up short, Carter. I’m never good enough.”

Carter’s eyes are filled with a stormy mix of empathy, rage, and confusion, and I’m uncertain which emotion he’s feeling the most.

“I feel for you, Finn, I do. He’s a piece of shit and I wish like hell it was different for you. But that doesn’t explain the shit that’s going on. I want to know why. Why offer the distillery a feature? Why tail me? Why force me to go awaywith you? Why ask me to lean in? Fuck, Finn. Was I just some sick game to you? Try to turn the straight guy? Do you really have a goddamn girlfriend?!” He huffs loudly while every piece of my heart crumbles. “So explain it, or I clearly made a mistake by coming here.” He snaps out the words, each one shattering my heart a little bit more.

“I don’t, Carter. She’s nothing to me, I swear. Lexi isn’t anyone but a lost girl whose dad is pressuring her to marry rich. Our dads are business partners. Mine refuses to acknowledge that I’m gay, and apparently Lexi is his key to showing everyone that his son isn’t an abomination. They have been trying to arrange our marriage for a long time. Lexi is on board because I’m a Nash. She wants the life that she has grown up knowing, and I’m her ticket to keeping it. I’ve never touched her. Never even been alone with her until I saw her standing in my bedroom in Maine. That’s the truth.”

Carter looks at me—really looks at me—and I hold my breath and wait for him to give me some semblance of a clue that he believes me.

“Fuck, Finn. Your dad’s a piece of fucking work. Now what about the part where my family is involved in this shit? How do we fit in this fucked-up situation?”

“I’m still figuring that out. Every piece I have given to you, Carter, that was all real. When I said I love my job more than anything, at the time, I meant it. My dad owns one of the most popular and well-known travel magazines there is. He knows how much working there means to me, and he uses that to get me to comply.”

“Why don’t you just leave and go somewhere else if he’s so fucking bad? Finn, he can’t control you. You’re so much damn better than this.”

“Because he would ruin me! The magazine may be big, but the communities are small. He would make sure no one hiredme anywhere else. He would sully my name, and no one would publish me. Up until recently, I haven’t had anything in my life that I cared for more than travel writing.”Up until I met Carter Hayes.“I stumbled on Aspen Ridge by accident. I was given a twenty-year-old signature bourbon from your distillery as a gift from my best friend. I wanted to know more because that’s what I do, and I found Aspen Ridge. Carter, when I tell you I fell in love through just photos, I did. I had Trey immediately reach out, and then I gave the proposal to my dad for Aspen Ridge to be the focus of my next feature.”

“Okay . . .” he says, urging me to go on, leaning his shoulder against the wall next to him, his muscular arms crossed tight across his chest.

“He flipped. He’s always been prone to violent rage, but Carter, he freaked. Forbade me from ever stepping foot in Aspen Ridge and especially from speaking to your family.”

“What? Why the hell would he care?”

“Our parents know each other, or did at one time.”

“What?” he asks me, his eyebrows pinching together with the same confusion I’m feeling.

---