Page 11 of Pleasure Lessons

I step back from her, and it physically hurts. It’s like my bones are snapping, one by one, as I make my way to my truck.

“Will you actually be back?” she asks, looking at me with doe-eyes. “Or are you just saying that like yesterday?”

“I will,” I tell her. “I promise.”

She nods slowly as I climb in the driver’s side and start the engine. I shift into gear immediately, knowing if I give myself a moment to change my mind, I will. I’ll stay and I’ll do something that will ruin both of our lives.

“I will wait for you,” she says. “Just don’t vanish on me again.”

“I won’t,” I tell her. “Never again.”

5

CASSANDRA

I skip breakfast.I skip lunch. I haven’t been able to think about anything all day.

Anything other than Rhett.

I sit at on the edge of my velvet window seat, one leg hanging lazily off. I’m still wearing the silk white nightgown I slept in as I gaze out the window at the misty day, arms crossed over my chest. I can’t decide if I am cold or hot. The weather is chilly, but my heart has been pounding all day, driving a warmth through my body.

That’s all Rhett’s fault too.

He kissed me.

He kissed me like I belonged to him. Like he couldn’t breathe without me. He leaned in, nearly hypnotizing me with that gorgeous face, and grabbed me like I was delicate and dangerous all at the same time. And his lips confirmed to me what I already thought I knew: that he wants me just as much as I want him. Maybe even more.

And then he pushed me away, all because Clarisse showed up and ruined everything. What would have happened if she hadn’t? I can’t even imagine.

When I touched his face, told him that I wanted to learn, he looked back at me like he was afraid of me. If he hadn’t gripped me so hard, would he have been shaking?

He told me he’d be back today.

He wasn’t.

I stare out the window at the empty garden paths, the manicured lawn and shrubbery, the cold white gravel path leading to the tennis court, and I want to scream. It hasn’t even been a full day without him, but I’m feeling such pain, it’s like he never existed. Like he was just some character from one of my books that I dreamt up.

And I’m just sitting here like a statue, all day, my heart aching. Waiting for something to happen. Anything that will let me know he’s still thinking about me.

“Just don’t vanish on me again,”I told him.

“I won’t,”he said.

Maybe I’m placing too much of the blame on him. Maybe his car broke down or he had a medical emergency. Not knowing makes things so much more painful.

Then,hearrives.

Arthur. The ominous shadow that looms over every second of my life when I’m not with Rhett. My father’s hand-picked fiancé. The man whose eyes make my skin crawl, whose sleazy smile sends a chill through my body every time I see it.

I watch as his car pulls up and his driver opens the door for him. He steps out like he owns even the air around him and brushes his hand across his jacket, disgusted by a possible spot of lint or dust.

He looks up at my window and sees me. I go tense, his eyes narrow, and his lips twist up at the sides. He lowers his chin, as if I don’t deserve an actual nod or a wave, then heads inside. I move quickly to the dresser and pull on a bulky sweater thatI can use to hide my body from him if he comes to my room. Which he does, of course.

He knocks but doesn’t wait for a response before entering. Why would he? He owns the house, after all–and by extension–me.

“Darling,” he says, stepping inside.Darling? Really?“You look wilted. Like a flower that needs watering.”

What a thing to say to a woman.

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