Page 130 of Sapphire Sunset

By guys so opposed to it, or so incapable of it, they feltthey had no choice but to come out stridently against it before the coffee cupshad even hit the patio table. It wasn’t always so bad. Unless they couched theirdisclosure in a bunch of pseudo-evolutionary arguments about how it wasn’t thenatural state of the species, and those who attempted it were fools. That’swhen Connor would getpissy.Own your sexual expression,by all means, but don’t shame me for having mine.

But for the most part, those who were exclusively polyamorousfelt the need to get their identity out from the first breath. The ensuing cupof coffee or meal was never very fun, but they’d done him a favor by being sodirect, he knew.

And sometimes—rarely, but sometimes—Connor had entertainedthe idea that monogamy wasn’t the ideal for him either. But then he’d take astep back and realize that when it came to himself, this was one of a series ofcompromises he was making to try to jam a guy who wasn’t a fit into a place hedidn’t belong. Namely, Connor’s heart. Three-ways after years of marriage wasone thing. But a guy who declared on the first date that he could never see youas number one in the bedroom, not even for a little while? Connor could nevermake that work.

And if that was a group Logan was about to join, thedevastation would be intense.

But wouldn’t it make perfect sense? Logan was jaw-droppinglyhandsome, muscled, tall, and a power top. In the eyes of most of the gaycommunity, that was gold stars across the board. A porn fantasy come to life.Maybe he had no plans to stop taking advantage of that fact as long as thegetting was good.

His mother’s admonishment was going to haunt them both for sometime to come.

They’d been running too fast with only lust as fuel, andthey hadn’t stopped to learn some essential things about each other.

Like this one.

It’s my fault,he thought.It’s my faultfor bringing up the jealous with a hard-on thing.

“I’m totally freaked out all of a sudden,” Connor whispered.

“I can tell.”

“Should I be?” Connor asked.

“I don’t think so, no.”

“Okay, so the deal is, I can’t say anything in response towhat you’re about to say for twenty-four hours, and I can’t say anything at allfor five minutes afterward.”

“Yep.”

Logan’s expression didn’t bear the tense hallmarks of a guywho was about to make a potentially relationship-ruining disclosure. Instead,he seemed at peace.

“Fine,” Connor said quickly, before he could second-guesshimself. “I agree. Say what you want to say.”

“Jealous with a hard-on doesn’t just mean I’m crazy attractedto you. It means I’m in love with you, Connor Harcourt.”

The wind he’d feared was about to get knocked out of himfilled his lungs. His eyes misted, and when he couldn’t breathe it was becausehe didn’t want to let go of the air, not because he was starved for it. Becauseletting go of the breath would somehow make the time between when Logan hadsaid those words—especially the one that started withL—and each newsubsequent second pass faster than Connor wanted it to go.

“Nothing for five minutes,” Logan reminded him, his eyes onthe road, his voice cool. “Five minutes of not saying something back becauseyou think you have to. Five minutes neither one of us tries to laugh it off. Fiveminutes of you doing nothing but feeling what I said right down to your bones.Because it’s one of the truest damn things I’ve ever said in my life.”

Connor wilted against him again, held to him.

Finally, he breathed. It was working as Logan said it would.The implication surging through his whole body. Again and again in waves. Andwith no pressure to say something in return, and then obsess over whether he’dsaid it with the right words or the right tone, or whether it was true at alland if he’d said it to even the playing field, Connor had no choice but to feelLogan’s words.

To feel Logan’s love.

Connor closed his eyes and held to Logan’s strong body, imaginingit was the only solid thing in the world. The only solid thing he needed.

“Two minutes.” Logan let him know.

Connor moaned lightly like he’d taken a spoonful of Nutella.

It’s possible. Everyone tells you it isn’t, that two mencan’t do it, shouldn’t do it, weren’t made by God to do it. But now I know it’spossible for two men to fall in love.

But he couldn’t say so, of course. That was the deal.

Three hours through rush-hour traffic, through stop and gostreets of Los Angeles at dusk, over the shadowed green Hollywood Hills on asnaking canyon road, then down into the twinkling expanse of the San FernandoValley.

Connor had no idea where they were headed within the City ofAngels, but as long as he was headed there with Logan, he was more than fine.