Page 152 of Sapphire Sunset

“I was not a great dad, son. I wasn’t even a good dad. Iused to say I wasn’t cracked up to be a single parent. Then that therapist yousent me to busted my ass. She said I hadn’t been cracked up to be any kind ofparent at all. Because what examples did I have? The mom who OD’d? The dad whogrieved with a fuckin’ belt? I never planned for anything, and I always wentwith my gut, and the results were fucking shitty, to be frank.

“Butyouwere great. So I didn’t have to be. Andthat was a miracle. For both of us. That was your mother working in my life. Butif there was one thing neither one of us could teach you—her’causeshe was gone, and me’causeI was fuckin’ Chip Murdoch and nobody could tell me anything—it was how to betaken care of. It was how to trust that someone else would do for you. Becausenobody ever did that for you except for your aunts. And they were part time.You give me a lot of credit for not kicking you out when I found you beatingyour meat to man-on-man stuff, but that’s a pretty low bar these days. And youwere worth more than that. You still are. And that guy who loves you, thatsweet guy, he’s trying to take care of you. And you’re not letting him. Andright now, that’s the biggest problem you got.”

Logan was stunned.

There was truth in his words. Lots of it. There’d been somany things Logan had to teach himself, do himself, worry about all on his own.His dad was never a falling-down drunk or physically abusive. Sure, he’d shoutand rave and sometimes lose his patience on a dime. But for most of Logan’searly life, it felt like a part of Chip Murdoch was missing. Gone with theghost of Logan’s mom, never to return, leaving Logan to prove he was worthwhileenough to make that part of his dad come back, if only for dinner.

Or at least that’s what Logan thought. And then came Chip’saccident and his therapy and a new pair of glasses through which the man cameto view the world and start a business that changed his life. Both of theirlives, Logan realized, because he’d removed the burden of his future from hisson’s plate.

“So Connor thinks the job will hold you guys together andhe’s wrong,” Chip said. “I mean, would that be such a bad thing if you weren’talready thinking he was better than you just because he was born rich?”

“I don’t think he’s better than me. I think he’s differentthan me and maybe this whole thing, this whole situation, made that clear.”

“Made what clear?”

“That it’s a problem forme.”

“His money?”

“I said this thing about his inheritance. I didn’t evenrealize how much anger I had over it. But he was so hurt, and I’m not sure Ican take it back.”

“Why’d you say it?” Chip asked.

“I don’t know. Because he was mad. Because he didn’t want meto quit. And he was lecturing me.”

“Yeah, I know you, son. You’re one of those guys who thinksanything you don’t want to hear is a lecture.”

“Wonder where I got that from?”

Chip shrugged. “I’m not saying Connor didn’t have a part inthis whole thing. But you did plenty of work to turn Connor and Sylvia Miltoninto the same person in your mind. That woman’s the one who’s made this mess,not Connor. Don’t take this all out on him.”

Logan wasn’t sure if he was convinced by his dad’s words orjust running out of steam.

“Rodney Harcourt’s the one who made this mess,” Loganwhispered.

His dad shrugged, conceding the point.

Neither one of them spoke, but his dad didn’t seem in any rushto leave or break the silence. And that meant something, something subtle andprofound, that after everything they’d been through over the years, his dad waswilling to sit with him in thoughtful silence while Logan tried to see throughthe hurt, the anger, the confusion.

“I don’t know if I can take back some of the things I said.”

“We can’t take anything back,” Chip said. “We can only dobetter today. That’s what I’ve been trying to do with you for years. You andSapphire Cove might be done. And honestly, maybe that’s for the best. The placeis way too pink, and those chandeliers look like something growing on a deadperson’s foot. But my point is, you and Connor have a shot. But yougottatrust that he might be the first person to really doright by you. And since you look at him the way I used to look at your mom, youshould really fuckin’ try.”

“What happened to my hard-ass dad?”

“Here he is.” Chip stood up, crossed to the office door, andopened it. “You put that goddamn metal detector in your truck and you drive itback to your friend in LA or so help me God, you and I are going to be aDatelineepisode before today’s through.”

“Copy that.”

Logan stood, nodded, and headed for the door. But before he steppedthrough it, his dad grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. “Today, kid,” he saidsoftly. “It’s about what we do today.”

Logan looked back and saw feeling swimming in his old man’seyes the way it had that evening he’d had to leave him on the sofa during hisfirst shift at Sapphire Cove. Logan squeezed back, then left the office,enjoying the comfort of following an order.

Leaving Irvine, he was sure he wanted a future with Connor.And the drive north to his pal Johnny’s warehouse in Burbank gave him time to meditateover his dad’s advice. But as soon as he offloaded the metal detector andheaded south again through soupy traffic, his calm departed, and a future withConnor once more seemed pocked with landmines.

Could they go back to where they’d been before Logan walkedout? Or had the path forked toward the edge of a cliff, and if they started upagain, a plummet would be inevitable?

Or could they start back at square one? Start fresh, free ofSapphire Cove?

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