Page 157 of Sapphire Sunset

“I shouldn’t have walked out,” Logan whispered.

“You were attacked on national television. I should havebeen easier on you. I shouldn’t have gone after you like that for resigning. Iwas asking you to take your time and work with me, but I came at you like afreight train because I was so afraid I’d lose you. And you’re right. I mean,you’re half right.”

“About what?”

“I was afraid that if I didn’t have Sapphire Cove, Iwouldn’t be good enough for you. Not because I think you’re some manipulativeoperator. But because I worry that I’m…that I’m…”

Logan smoothed Connor’s bangs from his forehead. “That you’rewhat?”

“Well, Naser says I have a voice like a child from a Pixarfilm and the only thing I’ve ever topped is a bicycle.”

“Are either of those bad things? Pixar’s great. So arebottoms.”

Connor laughed through his tears. “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t, actually. I just know it’s a very accuratedescription of a guy I’m in love with.”

“The night I overheard my uncle with my dad and my grandpa,”Connor said, “Rodney was describing you and he said ‘he’s gay but it’s okaybecause he keeps itreinedin.’ And in my head, foryears, I took that to mean that if I had been more like you, my family wouldhave wanted me around. It’s weird sometimes to be in love with someone who’s abetter version of me.”

“I am not a better version of you, Connor Harcourt. Who putthat bullshit thought in your head?”

“I want to say Rodney, but I think it’s me.”

“Well, what can I do to get it out?” Logan asked.

“Coming back was a nice start.”

“Yeah, and maybe not leaving so quickly will be a betterstart next time.”

Connor nodded, smiling through his tears. “That would reallywork for me, to be frank. The not leaving so quickly part.”

Logan pulled him close, letting Connor dry his tears on hisT-shirt.

“Logan, I don’t care if you never work another day here inyour life. I mean, as the general manager I’d be devastated to lose the bestdepartment head ever and a man who helped pull this place back from the brink.But as the guy who loves you, I’d take you any way I could get you.” Loganpulled him in closer.

Neither of them spoke for a while, but Logan felt like he couldstand here forever, rooted in place, holding Connor up in his arms, savoringhis weight and heat.

“I never should have sent that letter,” Logan finally said.“Job or no job, I can see why that scared you, to have the man you love just…actlike that without including you, talking to you. If you’d done the same to me,I might have freaked out too. And I have to admit, part of the reason SylviaMilton got to me is because I think I should have been able to tell what wasgoing on here, and I blame myself for missing it.”

“I don’t,” Connor said.

“I know, but I do, and I have to own that and move past itand not take it out on you.”

“That’ll be easier to do when I’m not pelting you with myinsecurities,” Connor said.

“I do understand what you meant, Connor. I do. I haven’texperienced it, but I’m aware of it, and I’ll try to be more understanding.”

“Which part? I havea lotof insecurities.”

“You’re right. I’ve been one of those guys who can gothrough life, and if I don’t out myself, sometimes nobody notices and nobodyasks, and I can keep my mouth shut and skate. And it means I get treateddifferently, and there’re things about what you’ve gone through that I don’tunderstand.”

Connor nodded and gently rubbed Logan’s chest, but Logancould sense him struggling with something else.

“What?” Logan whispered. “Say it, my prince. Say it all. Godhelp us, I don’t ever want to go through seventy-two hours like that again.”

Connor took a deep, fortifying breath. “Do you really thinkI should have stayed five years ago? Do you really think I ran?”

“No,” Logan said. “I ran. You don’t have to fly five hoursto run. You can run by staying put. You can run by withdrawing. By turning downa chance to get hurt, by refusing to let someone fight for you. I ran fiveyears ago, and I ran three days ago because I wouldn’t give you the chance tobe bigger than my fear. My dad says I have to learn how to be taken care ofbecause he didn’t do the best job. Maybe he’s right. But there’s one thing I knowfor sure. You’re the only man I’d ever want to teach me how.”

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